b3ta.com user juanking
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» Stupid Tourists

Warwick Castle
In an annoying yank twang, "Gee honey do you think this is where they filmed Shrek?"

That'll be Shrek the animated on computer film maybe?
(Sun 10th Jul 2005, 20:01, More)

» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

Beer problems.
Naafi bar RAF Abingdon.
Barrack Block piss up.
One lad (Glen) goes for a piss.
Si does too, in Glen's pint.
Glen gets back takes a swig of beer and utters the killer line.......
"Is it me or does the beer taste like piss tonight?"
Beer sprayed, sides split, Glen none the wiser.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 0:38, More)

» In the Army Now - The joy of the Armed Forces

Basic Training RAF Swinderby
Finally finish basic and have a mighty piss up. Entire Sqdn gets back to barracks and jump into bed (our own) fully clothed.
Enter female Sqdn OC 'well done' she says spots one of the lads is clothed and comes out with the immortal line 'I want you all undressed and in bed 5 mins'.
She about turns and leaves with the di staff Sgt.
5 mins later in she comes walks upto Daz's bed whips back the covers to find an inebriated young man nursing a boner to end all boners cos an officer had told him to get his kit off.

Cue red faced OC an apopleptic Sgt and a week of scrubbing the block for 3Sqn 15 Flt.
(Fri 24th Mar 2006, 0:33, More)

» Pet Peeves

Conspiracy Theorists
It's a conspiracy I tell you.
(Thu 8th May 2008, 0:59, More)

» Job Interviews

Day from Hell (Apologies for length)
On the day of my interview the car had to go for service, cue shitty peugot (wifey decided 12 miles was to far on a scooter), there seemed to be enough fuel so off I go to sunny Kiddy.

Two miles from the interview the piece of crap runs out of fuel(screwed fuel gauge) on a hill, I get out in spiffy suit and shiny shoes to push the car to the side of the road and slip and fall due to leather soles, I chase car dive through window and apply handbrake.

Phone interviewer and explain the situation, assured not a problem would I like someone to come with fuel, no says I not wanting to look a total mong..walk to garage round corner buy fuel can and fuel and everything is rosy.

Get back in car turn the key and the heap of shit won't start, phone interviewer again, explain the new situation, told to wait there and they would get one of their engineers to come and help me. Turns out the battery clamp was cracked.

Arrived at interview 45 mins late, scuffed shoes, dirty hands and a wild look in the eyes, and got told to make the tea.

Oh and I got the job
(Mon 24th Jan 2005, 23:03, More)
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