b3ta.com user Terry Nutkins
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A grill in the bush is woth cake in the hand

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he is so happy.

(Thu 20th Oct 2005, 12:08, More)

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» Best Graffiti Ever

Croydon College
Actually, this one beats them all in my mind, i was having a poo in the Dungeon style toilets in the basement of Croydon college a few years ago when I noticed scrawl everywhere in fineline marker pen. I found the beginning of this line and it simply said "follow this line" so my eyes spent ages following the line around the toilet cubicle, behind me, under the bog and then it went up and out into the main room, i wiped my arse and followed it out around the room and i'm not kidding - it took me about 5 mins to follow this line until finally it seemed to end under the washbasin where it said (in writing so tiny it hurt to squint and i had to use a lighter to read it)... "you cunt"

Brilliant - must've taken ages to clean off too!
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 23:03, More)

» Toilets

When I were at college...
Training to be the plumber I am now, We used to have to use these underground toilets with no natural light.
They were pretty scary places as the Croydon hoods tended to hang out just outside the door(?)

Anyway.. I had this dump once and I saw a dashed line on the cubicle door with the words 'Follow this line' at the end. Whilst sitting on the bog I followed this line with my eyes for about 5 mins, up and down, around the back, under the toilet and finally, up and out of the cubicle via the ceiling.
I wiped up and flushed, then proceded to follow this line around the bogs (they were quite big so it took a while) - the line actually went out the door to the hall for a bit and then back in.

Finally about 10 mins later I followed the line to under the wash basin expecting something amazing and it said in writing so small i had to squint... 'cunt'

So that was nice.
(Mon 5th Sep 2005, 8:04, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Outside the Crematorium
I once saw a piece of graffiti on a board outside a crematorium, it read "John Smith will be cremated here at 3:30pm on Sunday 25th February"

Someone had scrawled underneath it: "Can you please put him on slow-roast as I will be late?"
(Thu 3rd May 2007, 22:56, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Jesus Saves
"And lineker follows up on the rebound"


well fuck you cos i turned Goat Road into Cunt Road

(Thu 3rd May 2007, 22:57, More)

» Evil Pranks

My brother once bought a macdonalds happy meal and it came with this plastic milkshake cup that you couldn't see through, it had a dinosaur on the side i think.

At school that day, we both kept telling his best mate Chris about this 'amazing milkshake' we had at home and that he HAD to come round tonight and try it, it was going to blow his mind.

Chris, being the worlds most gulliable boy was foaming at the mouth in anticipation.

When we got back home before Chris arrived, we both pissed in the cup, filled it with chilli powder, marmite, dog shit from the garden, cat litter (used) a bit of the macdonalds milkshake and a bit of spit for good measure.

When poor Chris got there he was so excited that he just took the biggest gulp of this evil drink and after about 3 seconds he then puked everywhere, it just kept coming, all over my mums new kitchen and floor, getting in places that were very hard to clean out. So i geuss he kind of had the last laugh knowing we had to scrub his puke.

We were so cruel as kids.
(Thu 13th Dec 2007, 23:02, More)
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