b3ta.com user ElitePlotter
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» Urban Legends

When I was young, a family friend had a corgi dog. My dad always said they have blue blood.

Found out last month that they don't ACTUALLY have blue blood, it's because the queen's got some corgi's....

I'm now 26. The shame.....
(Thu 5th Jan 2006, 19:15, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Personal Pictures
Logging on to gallery sections of forums and getting the location of people cars/pets/holiday pictures etc, then removing the image name to see what else they have uploaded...

Guessing at people passwords too. The pleasure in finding out that bobsmith uses 'bob' as a password is strangely satisfying.
(Sat 9th Apr 2005, 21:18, More)

» Accidental animal cruelty

Wood laminate kitchen floor...
Two dogs.

Need I say more?
(Fri 7th Dec 2007, 9:37, More)

» When I met the parents

Oh, forgot to tell you....
In the first of many 'not really serious' relationships of my youth I popped round to see the girlfriend of about 4 or 5 days.

On ringing the doorbell, I'm greeted by the father of my lady. Being only 15 or so, lots of nervous twitching ensues in anticipation of the usual questions.

Low and behold, the next three hours is spent sat in front of the oldest PC available as her father shows me the 'new' game he's just bought. Now alarm bells should've rung at that point, as the PC was dusty and clearly hadn't been used in years.

Seeing as this was the first meeting of her folks, I kidded myself into believing that their daughter was obviously just preparing herself to meet me. As I said, 3 hours passed before I realised that maybe I should be off, as it was starting to get dark and there still was no sign of the girlfriend.

Next day I'm approached by a friend of my girlfriends in a fluster. The reason I'd been left in the lurch last night? She'd asked her friend to dump me, but she'd 'forgot'!

Oh, that's alright then. Spent the rest of my school days trying (unsuccessfully I might add) to get in to her mate's pants, because 'that'd show her!'.

Apologies for the length but not the piercing.
(Wed 25th May 2005, 19:57, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Queen Pork
My good friend thought Queen had nothing better to do apart than sing about meat:

He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from his pork sausages!
(Tue 1st Feb 2005, 21:14, More)
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