» Pure Ignorance

brought to you www.justramit.co.uk
A Customer Just Explained

his e-mail address is [email protected]

he spelled it and then explained, 'fearless, as in, no fear'.

thanks.


These people have guns

Snippet of e-mail from customer:

"I'm in the U.S. military in Germany and the only way stuff can ship to and from here is through USPS. Your online form did not accept AE as a valid state in the US. Is there any other way I can get this (product)replaced?"

The answer?

in the question perhaps?

Armed and dangerous, credited with the responsibility and decision skills to make life and death choices about who to shoot at, yet cannot master a basic skill like, oh, i dont know, figuring out Germany is not in the United States.

Freedom, Democracy, the Future, what hope?

I'm never having children.

my reply (as if),

Dear Sir,

thank you for your e-mail, oh yes and liberating us from Hitler.

Since then things have really perked up around here (Europe).

Not only can we get McDonalds in all of the larger, medium, smaller and provincial backwater towns, motorways, petrol stations and supermarkets but we can afford to wear Nike shoes, levis jeans, chew bubblegum, drive drag racers and watch Will Smith saving the world from robots and aliens again and again.

And double bonus for you sir, some of the larger, expansionist US corporations have deemed fit to provide us with labour in airless bunkers dotted about the place, like in Ireland where an entire generation has learned the joy of telephony.

One of these mighty benevolent American giants is UPS, another is DHL, both of whom deliver to, you guessed it - Germany.

Hurrah and Felicitations sir.

Your (product) is winging its way to you as we speak, not literally of course. Since the fall of the Ottoman Empire, people round here have stopped traveling by magic carpet. Such a shame you weren't around to liberate us from them too.

Kind Regards,
(Wed 12th Jan 2005, 17:00, More)

» Stuff You've Overheard

sheep
i have literally just returned from the work canteen to fetch a swig of water with the words 'fifteen sheep to every man on the island' ringing in my ears.
(Thu 10th Jun 2004, 12:12, More)

» Useless Information

another possible explanation for posh
the German word 'Poshlust' meaning not only the obviously trashy but mainly the falsely important, the falsely beautiful, the falsely clever, the falsely attractive

cant remember where i read that but i noted it to take the mickey out of a posh cunt who keeps calling me common here: www.justramit.co.uk, not a flaming site, more ranting and raving and having a chuckle
(Wed 23rd Mar 2005, 11:00, More)

» Singing the wrong words

its gotta be big 2
'scabby gee'

'gee' is Dublin slang for ladies downstairs bits
(Thu 27th Jan 2005, 16:48, More)

» My Christmas Nightmare

got beaten up my brother
Being a lightning wit and a smart-arsed bastard I take no shit from no man ever except if outgunned/outnumbered and this philosophy has served me well over the years until... xmas two years ago when my younger, fitter, healthier, stronger, angrier, shorter tempered violent madman brother needed taking down a peg or two, his delusional paranoia having gotten the better of him to such an extent he accused me of calling him a poof because two of the books i had given him for xmas had gay characters in them. The delusion was so well rooted in fact he had concluded that I had been planning this for some time especially to humiliate him over the festive period. Things came to a head and he invited me outside for a bout of fisticuffs which i good temperedly indulged thinking a punch or two may be exchanged before tears and embraces and apologetic epithets would ensue clearing the air and allowing us all to enjoy the best of the season. So... he charges at me, knocks me down, grabs my head and bashes it off the bumper of my mothers car a few times before laying a fair few boots to the face and guts and the most painful, frightening and shocking two and one half minutes of my life occurred leaving me with badly bruised ribs, a bit of a black eye and a fat lip aswell as some cuts and grazes. Needless to say we get on like a house on fire now. Fraternal japery and all that what? Blood is thicker than water, ho hum...
(Thu 6th Jan 2005, 10:35, More)