» The Onosecond

While standing on the landing...
With my mates sister discussing what noises he made while having sex with his girlfriend.
"was it a sort of oof?"
"no it was a bit longer and drawn out like a moan"
"oh like uuuuuh"
"yeh that's it"

I proceeded to repeat the noise until i heard
"fuck you!" shouted from downstairs, my mate had heard the whole thing.
(Fri 27th May 2005, 14:25, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

For school...
I would draw. Endless reels and pages of paper, anything but work. I would write a few lines and then flip to the back of my book to draw then quickly flip back to the front when the teacher walked over and depending on how far into the lesson i would or wouldn't get into trouble. It progressed into writing fake things when i realised they just glazed thier eyes over the books. I would write big blocks of pointless phrases such as "I enjoyed a cup of tea with the vicar on tuesday we then proceeded to batter to death the organ player with an easle"
(Sun 1st May 2005, 23:58, More)

» Claims to Fame

I was once on...
Mad for it when i was younger. I recently dug out one of the tapes and my god i was fat. No one here probably even knows what i am on about but if anyone does i was on the one with the people with the YOYOs.

When i was much younger, before i knew the balance of the world i went to a convention and met Kenny baker (R2D2) i then handed him a photo of him and R2 to sign but i put it too far away and his little arms couldn't reach, i didn't do it on purpose but his wife stood on a chair (also a small lady) and grabbed it. She followed to scowl at me and i felt sad for days that kenny baker's wife hated me.
(Wed 2nd Mar 2005, 22:47, More)

» Pure Ignorance

Once apon a time...
A young girl was crying all alone.
My firend walked up and in a joking tone asked

"heh geese who died"
to a reply of
"my best friend"
Then he almost died.
(Sat 8th Jan 2005, 18:06, More)