b3ta.com user ferret charmer
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Profile for ferret charmer:
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i am a halfwit.
i don't like people.
people don't like me.
my social skills leave a lot to be desired.
i dine primarily on imported bush vole.
i enjoy relishing in the misfortune of others.
i am uncommonly unpleasent to look at.
now get lost.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Local Nutters

the mole in hackney
hes a propper nutter, tunnels under the road, under neighbours gardens and stuff. The local authority had to block off the road outside his house because it was in danger of collapsing.
pretty sure the road is called englefield road - its worth a visit to see his house.
(Thu 16th Sep 2004, 12:02, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

a doctor in the maternity ward
takes a baby from a cot and starts spinning it around by its ankles, smashing it into walls, drop kicking it down the corridors etc. The mum runs after him, hysterical, screaming and crying and asks him what the hell he is doing. He says "aah don't worry it was dead anyway"
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 11:50, More)

» My Worst Vomit

A couple of mates
and myself, who hadn't seen each other for a while, decided to meet up for a bite to eat and few quiet beers as you do. The monkey chews in chalk farm seemed like a sensible venue, as it was a local and respectable purveyor of both food and alcohol, great.
Having polished off enough food to fill a donkey we proceeded to the bar area to continue drinking.
Someone noticed a full bottle of absinthe on the wall behind the bar and like bulls who just noticed a large red flag we promptly ordered four shots, flaming shots with a spoon of sugar and drunk through a fine straw no less. Anyway an hour or two later, still sat at the bar, we had finished the bottle and moved onto Guinness. Very very drunk by this point we where kindly asked to leave after inadvertently insulting the girl behind the bar. After much protesting the bouncers kindly ended the dispute by forcibly ejecting us out onto the pavement. Determined to continue on our quest for brain damage we commandeered an outside table around the corner and smoked a few crafty spiffs, clumsily trying to hide it from frowning glass collectors etc. Well I think that skunk was the straw that broke the camels back because a chain reaction vomiting fest was to follow, all four of us managed to cover the whole area in thick green vomit. The tabletop, bench seats and pavement where literally covered in perfectly matching puke, it was a thoroughly disgusting site I will never forget. I am truly sorry to whoever was responsible for cleaning up the mess.
Anyway we managed somehow to make a cunning getaway and avoid a fatal beating from the bouncers. Don't think I've been back there since, shame really, its a nice pub.
(Fri 20th Aug 2004, 12:29, More)