b3ta.com user iank
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» Heckles

trivia night
there's a restaurant in my college town that does trivia monday night. my buddies and i are mostly there for the 1$ tall boy cans, and ripping into the mc, who slings it back just as hard. however, the crowd often includes teams full of drunk frat boy types, who have their little rival teams and whatnot. so one evening, two kids on different teams keep going at each other, and at one point are going back and forth across the restaurant in a "you wish..." "no, you wish...". after a few such exchanges, i pipe in with the juvenile "your mom wishes....she'd aborted." cue a silent restaurant, whilst my friends are in hysterics and i try to avoid eye contact with two angry fratty douchebags.nothing ever came of it.

we were asked to leave and not return when we submitted as an answer "shit on my dick, or blood on my knife?" while our answer turner-inner stood by the mc's table with a half cocked grin.
(Fri 7th Apr 2006, 4:32, More)

» Job Interviews

Saturday, January 22, 2005
I had applied at an ice cream place, Coldstones Creamery. (I think they're dotting the east coast of the states, but i really don't know.) Anyways, their little trademark, for those who've never heard of them, is that whenever someone puts a dollar or more in the tip jar, all the employees sing a song, but with the words reworked to deal with ice cream. So theres 30 or so random college kids in for this mass interview. And they ask us to showcase some kind skill or talent, in 3-10 seconds. People are singing and dancing and such, neither of which I can do.

So I pulled out the Vanilla Ice jump-through-the-leg move, and then kicked myself in the head.
The owners father-in-law, who was sitting in for one of the store managers, asked me to do it again. And then asked how I figured out I could do that.

I didn't get the job...
(apologies for length)
(Sun 23rd Jan 2005, 21:17, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Tony Danza??
A friend of mine spent the majority of her life believing that in Elton John's song "Hold me closer tiny dancer", he was, in fact saying, "Hold me closer, Tony Danza".
i found this incredibly amusing, especially considering that this managed to last until her early teens before she was corrected.
(Fri 28th Jan 2005, 2:40, More)

» People with Stupid Names

pudding snacks...
when my mom worked as a teachers aid, one of her co-workers brought up the names of two african-american twins she had worked with at an Atlanta, GA elementary school: Orangejello and Lemonjello (pronounce oh-ran-gel-oh and leh-mon-gel-oh).
(Mon 30th Aug 2004, 1:24, More)