Profile for VintageAsphalt:
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- a member for 20 years, 3 months and 11 days
- has posted 48 messages on the main board
- has posted 2 messages on the talk board
- has posted 0 messages on the links board
- has posted 3 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 0 pictures, 0 links, 0 talk posts, and 2 qotw answers.
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» When I met the parents
Imagine a film, for real
Long story, which I will try to make short by cutting out minor details. Although outrageous, this is entirely true, believe me.
Was in a show with this girl, Kat. For months, months, months I had been trying to get with her. My methods were obviously lacking for I earned the nickname 'creepy mike'. Not good.
Anyway, last night of the show, kat asks if anyone wants to come back to her house for a drink, bit of a party etc. About 30 people accept and head off to her 2 bed victorian semi (with groundfloor extention. Read Kat's room. Read my ultimate goal.)
So, her parents, expecting 4/5 people get a bit of a shock. Nonetheless, they get into the spirit, poor a glass of wine each and hand out the drink. Huge dad, Lovely Mum, brother about 6'4".
Kat's dad talks to her mate mark, tells him to warn me not to get frisky with his little girl.
Kat's dad talks to Kat, 'Don't get frisky with Creepy Mike'.
3.30am, Kat and I get frisky.
Major frisky.
By some series of events, kat's mum storms in, bangs on lights, rips covers off us, both starkers and shagging.
The longest volley of 4-letter words streamed from her while I franticly grab trousers and hop out of room putting them on. I sat in the rain, in the garden until her mum calmed down. Got my stuff and walked 6 hours back to my house about 15/20 miles away.
In the rain.
Being the nice guy that I am, I rang them up when I got home and apologised.
We are now together. Her dad does not know, neither to either of my parents.
Apologies for length, but it still makes me laugh.
(Sun 22nd May 2005, 18:45, More)
Imagine a film, for real
Long story, which I will try to make short by cutting out minor details. Although outrageous, this is entirely true, believe me.
Was in a show with this girl, Kat. For months, months, months I had been trying to get with her. My methods were obviously lacking for I earned the nickname 'creepy mike'. Not good.
Anyway, last night of the show, kat asks if anyone wants to come back to her house for a drink, bit of a party etc. About 30 people accept and head off to her 2 bed victorian semi (with groundfloor extention. Read Kat's room. Read my ultimate goal.)
So, her parents, expecting 4/5 people get a bit of a shock. Nonetheless, they get into the spirit, poor a glass of wine each and hand out the drink. Huge dad, Lovely Mum, brother about 6'4".
Kat's dad talks to her mate mark, tells him to warn me not to get frisky with his little girl.
Kat's dad talks to Kat, 'Don't get frisky with Creepy Mike'.
3.30am, Kat and I get frisky.
Major frisky.
By some series of events, kat's mum storms in, bangs on lights, rips covers off us, both starkers and shagging.
The longest volley of 4-letter words streamed from her while I franticly grab trousers and hop out of room putting them on. I sat in the rain, in the garden until her mum calmed down. Got my stuff and walked 6 hours back to my house about 15/20 miles away.
In the rain.
Being the nice guy that I am, I rang them up when I got home and apologised.
We are now together. Her dad does not know, neither to either of my parents.
Apologies for length, but it still makes me laugh.
(Sun 22nd May 2005, 18:45, More)
» Embarrassing Injuries
A nasty accident in school...
A year or so ago, I was locked in an upstairs lab at my secondary school. Some kid playing a prank (blah blah blah). Anyhow, I spotted a nice soft flower patch under the window. I leapt and landed perfectly safely. Not so much as a bruise.
Noone was there to see it though. As I bragged about it, they all wanted me to prove it was possible. I went into the very same lab, leapt out of the very same window towards my awaiting group of friends. I leapt with a little more gusto than last time and missed the flower bed.
Broke my left leg in 2 places and dislocated my right knee. And everybody was there to see it.
bugger
(Thu 2nd Sep 2004, 15:20, More)
A nasty accident in school...
A year or so ago, I was locked in an upstairs lab at my secondary school. Some kid playing a prank (blah blah blah). Anyhow, I spotted a nice soft flower patch under the window. I leapt and landed perfectly safely. Not so much as a bruise.
Noone was there to see it though. As I bragged about it, they all wanted me to prove it was possible. I went into the very same lab, leapt out of the very same window towards my awaiting group of friends. I leapt with a little more gusto than last time and missed the flower bed.
Broke my left leg in 2 places and dislocated my right knee. And everybody was there to see it.
bugger
(Thu 2nd Sep 2004, 15:20, More)
» People with Stupid Names
After my messageboard post...
The guy who wrote a play called 'The Pilgrimage' is called Paul Goetzee!
I went to school with a guy called Ricky Head, never really got on with him. He was really good friends with a girl called Cherish. I still think thats such a sweet name! Ahhh
(Wed 1st Sep 2004, 22:31, More)
After my messageboard post...
The guy who wrote a play called 'The Pilgrimage' is called Paul Goetzee!
I went to school with a guy called Ricky Head, never really got on with him. He was really good friends with a girl called Cherish. I still think thats such a sweet name! Ahhh
(Wed 1st Sep 2004, 22:31, More)