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» Work Experience
Never trust a work experience boy with a gun.
My brother did a stint of work experience on a farm. Pretty much everything that could go wrong did.
He was shown how to drive the ute, but while running some errands on the property he rolled it, spilling hay everywhere and "misplacing" the dog that was riding on the hay bales. He accidentally speared a cow with a hay-bale lifter (akin to a forklift). After being shown how to cross giant ditches with a tractor (head on, the tire's diameter is bigger than one thinks), he lost his nerve and veered sideways into 2 feet of water, lodging the tractor into a muddy channel at 55 degrees.
But his competence really shone when he went 'roo shooting.
He was given a .303, and stood on the back of the ute, leaning over the top of the driver cabin. As a 16-yr-old city kid, he was somewhat unprepared for the recoil of the big gun. He fired his first shot at some 6-foot big red.....and nearly passed out in shock at the kick of the rifle. In order to nurse the pain of his nearly-broken shoulder, he put the rifle down....on the roof of the ute....while the farmer was still driving over fairly bumpy terrain.
The second shot (from the now unattended and briefly airborne rifle) went straight through the engine block, 30 centimetres from the farmer's nuts.
My brother spent the rest of that week digging stones out of the 4 kilometre farm driveway.
(Fri 11th May 2007, 12:14, More)
Never trust a work experience boy with a gun.
My brother did a stint of work experience on a farm. Pretty much everything that could go wrong did.
He was shown how to drive the ute, but while running some errands on the property he rolled it, spilling hay everywhere and "misplacing" the dog that was riding on the hay bales. He accidentally speared a cow with a hay-bale lifter (akin to a forklift). After being shown how to cross giant ditches with a tractor (head on, the tire's diameter is bigger than one thinks), he lost his nerve and veered sideways into 2 feet of water, lodging the tractor into a muddy channel at 55 degrees.
But his competence really shone when he went 'roo shooting.
He was given a .303, and stood on the back of the ute, leaning over the top of the driver cabin. As a 16-yr-old city kid, he was somewhat unprepared for the recoil of the big gun. He fired his first shot at some 6-foot big red.....and nearly passed out in shock at the kick of the rifle. In order to nurse the pain of his nearly-broken shoulder, he put the rifle down....on the roof of the ute....while the farmer was still driving over fairly bumpy terrain.
The second shot (from the now unattended and briefly airborne rifle) went straight through the engine block, 30 centimetres from the farmer's nuts.
My brother spent the rest of that week digging stones out of the 4 kilometre farm driveway.
(Fri 11th May 2007, 12:14, More)
» Embarrassing Injuries
Ever gone for the roll? Make sure there's enough bed.
She's on top, you're underneath (or vice versa). You've got the urge to kick it up a notch (or she does), but no-one's particularly interested in painstakingly disengaging and respositioning. So, coupled together, you roll.
Just make sure there's enough bed to your right (or left, if you're weird). And that you don't have a bed-side table. And that it's not a bastard-sharp-edged table.
Three stitches in the head, after a long wait at a medical centre on a long weekend.
(The girlfriend was exceedingly chuffed that she'd "marked" me as her own, and of course, everyone was later told by said gleeful girlfriend. Then, later, they all pooled their money and bought me a safe-sex helmet.)
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 12:56, More)
Ever gone for the roll? Make sure there's enough bed.
She's on top, you're underneath (or vice versa). You've got the urge to kick it up a notch (or she does), but no-one's particularly interested in painstakingly disengaging and respositioning. So, coupled together, you roll.
Just make sure there's enough bed to your right (or left, if you're weird). And that you don't have a bed-side table. And that it's not a bastard-sharp-edged table.
Three stitches in the head, after a long wait at a medical centre on a long weekend.
(The girlfriend was exceedingly chuffed that she'd "marked" me as her own, and of course, everyone was later told by said gleeful girlfriend. Then, later, they all pooled their money and bought me a safe-sex helmet.)
(Fri 3rd Sep 2004, 12:56, More)
» Best Graffiti Ever
Tireless artists
On the Northern line in Sydney, the retaining walls (and pilons, and posts, and just about every thing you can see) are always covered with crap graffiti: tags, tags, and more tags. Sometimes there's art....but over the top there's always more indecipherable tags, tags, tags. CityRail regularly do a counter-spray paint run, painting over everything with rough blobs of mission brown. It lasts a couple of days, and then there's more tags. A few months later, the walls (pilons/posts/plants/etc) are again wiped clean with brown. The tags creep back, only to be wiped again, etc.
Once, on a freshly re-surfaced bridge wall was the hastily scrawled (with the same penmanship as the tags) "THIS SHIT IS A FULL TIME JOB".
(Tue 8th May 2007, 13:54, More)
Tireless artists
On the Northern line in Sydney, the retaining walls (and pilons, and posts, and just about every thing you can see) are always covered with crap graffiti: tags, tags, and more tags. Sometimes there's art....but over the top there's always more indecipherable tags, tags, tags. CityRail regularly do a counter-spray paint run, painting over everything with rough blobs of mission brown. It lasts a couple of days, and then there's more tags. A few months later, the walls (pilons/posts/plants/etc) are again wiped clean with brown. The tags creep back, only to be wiped again, etc.
Once, on a freshly re-surfaced bridge wall was the hastily scrawled (with the same penmanship as the tags) "THIS SHIT IS A FULL TIME JOB".
(Tue 8th May 2007, 13:54, More)
» Shoddy Presents
Going round the bend
A friend's grandmother was getting on a bit, and the family had started to suspect she was losing her marbles. They had confirmation that Christmas.
The family had gathered together on Christmas morning, taking turns opening presents. Having gotten to the end of the pile, there was an uncomfortable silence when everyone realised that Gran hadn't given anyone a present. She then proceeded to open her bag, pulling out a large box of no-name soap, handing each family member a single cake with the comment "Sorry, didn't have time to go shopping"
(Fri 24th Sep 2004, 23:17, More)
Going round the bend
A friend's grandmother was getting on a bit, and the family had started to suspect she was losing her marbles. They had confirmation that Christmas.
The family had gathered together on Christmas morning, taking turns opening presents. Having gotten to the end of the pile, there was an uncomfortable silence when everyone realised that Gran hadn't given anyone a present. She then proceeded to open her bag, pulling out a large box of no-name soap, handing each family member a single cake with the comment "Sorry, didn't have time to go shopping"
(Fri 24th Sep 2004, 23:17, More)