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- a member for 19 years, 7 months and 23 days
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- has posted 9 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
- They liked 111 pictures, 6 links, 0 talk posts, and 172 qotw answers.
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» Shoddy Presents
My Mate...
Must have drawn the short straw when it comes to stingy relatives.
This one concerns his older brother.
One year, he was curious what said sibling could have got him, for he had noticed him holding a paper bag preciously close behind his back all morning.
He tried so hard to sneak a peek, but his brother didn't allow him a single look inside.
When finally he eagerly came to ask for his present, the bag was whipped out, his brother shoved his hand in, crumpled it around inside-
- and punched him, without modesty, in the face.
Not just the forehead, I mean full-on face.
Still, at least he'd gone to the trouble of getting a bag.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 22:54, More)
My Mate...
Must have drawn the short straw when it comes to stingy relatives.
This one concerns his older brother.
One year, he was curious what said sibling could have got him, for he had noticed him holding a paper bag preciously close behind his back all morning.
He tried so hard to sneak a peek, but his brother didn't allow him a single look inside.
When finally he eagerly came to ask for his present, the bag was whipped out, his brother shoved his hand in, crumpled it around inside-
- and punched him, without modesty, in the face.
Not just the forehead, I mean full-on face.
Still, at least he'd gone to the trouble of getting a bag.
(Thu 23rd Sep 2004, 22:54, More)
» Inappropriate crushes
Marina, Aqua Marina
Why don't you say,
That you'll always stay,
Close to my heart?
(Fri 29th Sep 2006, 10:10, More)
Marina, Aqua Marina
Why don't you say,
That you'll always stay,
Close to my heart?
(Fri 29th Sep 2006, 10:10, More)
» Guilty Pleasures
Eating cheese. Far more than a person should.
I love doing without any form of slicer and just taking a whacking great bite out of a block of cheddar. Can't do it too often though.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 12:55, More)
Eating cheese. Far more than a person should.
I love doing without any form of slicer and just taking a whacking great bite out of a block of cheddar. Can't do it too often though.
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 12:55, More)
» Job Interviews
Only Debenhams...
I'm still in school, and thought I'd try for a nice part time job in Debenhams. I was told to meet 'Janette' in the lingerie department, at 5 o'clock.
Characteristically late for everything, I came straight from school and turned up at 4.50. And stood. And stood. After a while, self-consciousness came into play, and I kept trying to divert my eyes to where seemed most wholesome, away from busty mannequins and thongs - which was the floor, or the entirely blank ceiling. Odd looking in itself. But by 5.03 I needed the toilet, quite badly, and my legs had developed a slightly agitated twitch. And, I realised, as leggedy young sales assistants and grey-haired betties alternated walking by, that I was in full school uniform, and must have looked the absolute embodiment of spotty teenage perversion.
Anyway, 'Janette' turned up at about ten past, whisked me away (to my relief) to an office upstairs, ceased smiling completely and proceeded to interview me with an air of pity for a full thirty minutes. ('Have you ever pulled through a time of adversity?' - 'um, not particularly... GCSEs were quite hard, and... I didn't use to have many friends...')
As seems to be the way with these more piteous stories, I didn't get the job.
(Mon 24th Jan 2005, 20:28, More)
Only Debenhams...
I'm still in school, and thought I'd try for a nice part time job in Debenhams. I was told to meet 'Janette' in the lingerie department, at 5 o'clock.
Characteristically late for everything, I came straight from school and turned up at 4.50. And stood. And stood. After a while, self-consciousness came into play, and I kept trying to divert my eyes to where seemed most wholesome, away from busty mannequins and thongs - which was the floor, or the entirely blank ceiling. Odd looking in itself. But by 5.03 I needed the toilet, quite badly, and my legs had developed a slightly agitated twitch. And, I realised, as leggedy young sales assistants and grey-haired betties alternated walking by, that I was in full school uniform, and must have looked the absolute embodiment of spotty teenage perversion.
Anyway, 'Janette' turned up at about ten past, whisked me away (to my relief) to an office upstairs, ceased smiling completely and proceeded to interview me with an air of pity for a full thirty minutes. ('Have you ever pulled through a time of adversity?' - 'um, not particularly... GCSEs were quite hard, and... I didn't use to have many friends...')
As seems to be the way with these more piteous stories, I didn't get the job.
(Mon 24th Jan 2005, 20:28, More)