b3ta.com user BobMonkhouse
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Although deceased God has allowed me to haunt some guy from Leicestershire and post messages to B3TA. Nice bloke God.

Some stuff wot Bob made....

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Best answers to questions:

» World's Sickest Joke

Where's the Andies?
A vicar is on a train and this pregnant woman gets on and sits down opposite him.

As they travel the vicar is reading his newspaper and the woman takes out her knitting.

As she is knitting, about every 20 minutes she reaches into her bag and pulls out a bottle of pills from which she takes one and swallows it.

This goes on for about an hour when the vicar sees the label "Thalidomide" on the bottle.

"Excuse me", says the vicar to the woman, "Do you know the effect that could have on your unborn child?"

"Yes" says the woman "I never could knit sleeves."
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 10:52, More)

» Childhood Ambitions

I wanted...
...to be a game show host, and also star in the odd film, which might possibly involve toothpaste.
(Thu 29th Mar 2007, 12:45, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

If this has been posted before, you should be ashamed!
What's pink and stiff in the morning?
Cot death.
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 10:43, More)

» Hotel Splendido

Caravan site of doom
Me and a few friends booked in at a camp/caravan site in Newquay. They put us in a van that can only be described as a slum, and the smell must have been what Father Jack's underpants hamper must have smelled like.
Complained and they put us in another one, which had been broken into by other 'guests' and they'd left half pints of beer around the place.

In the end we went back and threw a fit at them and they moved us to the nice end of the park where the families and biddies go.

(Fri 18th Jan 2008, 11:25, More)

» Premonitions

Nuclear explosion
Dreamed I was viewing Derby from my bedroom window and a large nuclear exposion occurred, not sure why, large mushroom cloud etc. Oh, we were in Italy for some reason, people walking past talking Italian!?
So basically if you hear about a place in Italy that has a nuclear exposion, somewhere like Derbyolio then you heard it here first!
(Mon 22nd Nov 2004, 11:28, More)
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