b3ta.com user beefandcheese
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Profile for beefandcheese:
Profile Info:

Have fun and enjoy your shoes

Recent front page messages:

The latest issue is out...

Wallpaper as requested
(Sat 14th Feb 2004, 21:17, More)

One for Kaizer?

(Mon 10th Feb 2003, 21:11, More)

Artist, inventor....

Meownardo Da Vinci was an amazing moggy

I really hope this hasn't been done before.... I spent ages on it!
(Wed 18th Dec 2002, 17:22, More)

Early eighties number - straight to video

(Sun 8th Sep 2002, 19:40, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Weddings

I went to a rock wedding...
...The bride and groom's first dance was head banging to Black Sabbath.

Someone requested The Jam for her mod boyfriend. The DJ wouldn't play it.
(Thu 14th Jul 2005, 17:01, More)

» Heckles

Bill Bailey in Liverpool
He asked for foods that you can bake with hash... Someone randomly yelled out 'Cheese Money' to which he improvised an entire mini-sketch about mice playing poker with coins made out of cheese. Genius.

Also the fianceeééééeéeeeé's brother went to see Bottom Live.. The tour where they did an intricate rewind of a good half of the show live on stage... At the end he yelled 'Do it again!' to be rewarded by a pleasing 'Fuck off!' from Ade Edmondson
(Mon 10th Apr 2006, 12:59, More)

» Injured Siblings

What she did to me...
...After tormenting my sister one too many times, she turned round and hit me in the face with one of those walking sticks full of sweets that you get in seaside resorts.. We were in a small amusement arcade in Newquay at the time.

Initially I was fine, if a little achey... Then the pain hit and I realised she had dethroned one of my teeth. I hadn't swallowed it... But it had fell on the floor. Looking down I was greeted with the site of an entire pack of salted peanuts that some kind soul had spilt earlier that day.

When your 8 years old and crying in pain peanuts look a lot like teeth. Half an hour I searched panicking thinking I'd lost my 50p off the tooth fairy. Never did find it.
(Thu 18th Aug 2005, 15:23, More)

» When animals attack...

Geese, parrot, horse
Ah the good old days of primary school. But our days were tainted by the class bully who was to be feared by all... Well, at least until we went to the bird sanctuary where some local geese grabbed his jacket and chased him round for a good five minutes, not letting go. Oh the mirth, oh the merriment, oh the ribbing he got for bursting in to tears!

A few weeks ago our old parrot 'Sammy Buttercup' died. It was a sad time and for the whole day before he 'crossed over' he was clearly very sick. My mother was hand feeding him bits of food to try and get something into his system. Instead he decided to take one final chunk out of her finger. He died an hour later. It was his way of saying goodbye.

Back in the day we lived not 2 minutes away from the old Wigan Athletic football ground. On match day we'd often see the police horses walking up and down our street. On this particular day the policemen stopped and chatted for a while and my mother gave the horses a couple of apples to munch on. They ate the apples and she went in to make the policemen a cup of tea (it was the olden days, we were all friendly back then). This is when the horse decided he was going to follow her inside.. Luckily the policeman had dismounted because by the time we could stop it we had the front half of a very large police horse in the living room!
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 9:05, More)

» Housemates from hell

One floor... 8 bedrooms
4 rooms on the east side of the floor, four on the west side... One toilet on each side. One day we noticed fella from the west side visiting our toilet on the East Side... Yes, instead of stinking out his own toilet, which was actually just outside of his bedroom door, he walked round and used ours.... To lay a cable which only that of a person who eats solid Indian food for 6 months can produce.
(Sat 7th Apr 2007, 0:24, More)
[read all their answers]