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Don't you fucking look at me.

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» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Drugs are bad
While attending one of the Last Greatful Dead shows back in the mid 90's I ingested around 6 or 7 hits of acid. After many long hours of intense visuals I realized I had to pee. I found my way into the middle of a large group of trees, whipped out my cock and merrily started pissing. About 5 seconds into it, I start to hear voices. Then I notice the trees are moving around an awful lot for trees. Suddenly I had the horrific realization that I was standing in the middle of a crowd of fellow concert goers, wang in hand peeing without a care in the world. People were just staring at me.
(Fri 16th Dec 2005, 21:55, More)

» Road Rage

Road Rage
Recently I was driving along when some lady cut me off. I gave her a friendly wave and she gave me the finger. So I screamed a few obscene words at her as we approched a red light.

The crazy lady jumped out of her car and began to walk towards me. I noticed her car was rolling in reverse and was about to hit the person behind her.

I smiled at her and pointed at her car. She jumped back in her car and stopped it from ramming the person behind her.

I laughed at her and drove on. Maybe I should have just let her wreck into the person behind her, but I figured, why ruin his day as well.

Crazy people.
(Thu 12th Oct 2006, 22:26, More)

» When I met the parents

Stupid Parents
Many years ago when I was a young lad of about 15 years of age I met the neighborhood tramp. She was a cute girl and a total whore. Her father was a rather large, rather scary redneck whos hobbies included hunting and taxedermy. I started hanging around with the girl because she'd let me kiss her and stick my hands anywhere I wanted to. The first time I met her father he took me into his garage, shut the door and turned on the light. Hanging from the ceiling was a large, dead deer. Her father proceeded to evicerate the animal in front of me. As blood, guts and other unidentifiable fluids poured out onto the ground around us he warned me that if he caught me fooling around with his baby girl, he would bestow the same fate upon me.

2 weeks later I show up at the girl's house, her father is not home so we get to fooling around. I stripped her naked, as I intended on losing my virginity, pulled my pants down and thought all was well. Almost immediately the door swung open and her father was standing there. His 14 year old daughter naked and me with my pants around my ankles. I didn't say a word. I got up, pulled up my trousers and ran past him as fast as I could.

She was sent away to live with her mom the following day and I didn't manage to lose my virginity for 2 additional years.

Amusingly, I ran into the girl a few years later and ended up fucking her. Goodtimes.
(Sun 22nd May 2005, 0:54, More)

» Sacked

Stupid Jobs
I got fired from a large retail chain when I was 17. Apparently management frowns upon their employees smoking weed in the parking lot. Who knew?
(Fri 24th Feb 2006, 0:23, More)

» Dentists

Stupid dentists
The stupid dentist told me my wisdom tooth was impacted. As the years passed it eventually grew in but rather quickly broke and began to decay.

I recently pulled it out with a pair of pliers. Actually, I just managed to break it off at my gumline.

Yes, it hurt and no, it hasn't healed very well. At least I didn't have to goto the dentist.
(Thu 2nd Nov 2006, 21:13, More)
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