» Cheap Tat

My 21st birthday
A few years ago I turned 21 and my friends, being poor students decided it would be an idea to buy 21 items for £1 each. This resulted in such delights as:

a doll's tea set.
a grotesque figurine of a tennis player who I can only assume is Pete Sampras.
a pack of 5 childens' toothbrushes.
a cannister of butane gas, and
an LP of Middlesborough steelworkers singing various folk songs.
(Wed 9th Jan 2008, 21:35, More)

» World's Sickest Joke

Surprised this one hasn't come up yet
A 12 year old boy comes home from school and says to his mother "I had sex with my french teacher today". His mother is dumbfounded and sends him to his father for a stern telling-off.
So the boy tells his father the same thing. Hearing this the father beams with pride and says "Well done son. I think you're now old enough to ride your big brother's bike". "I can't" said the boy "my arse hurts too much".
(Fri 10th Sep 2004, 10:02, More)

» Stupid Tourists

Not really a tourist but anyway...
My girlfriend's little brother appears to have mildly broken himself recently and so was escorted by his mother to hospital. Maybe about a week or so ago.

The doctor is Romanian, so the mother decides to strike up a conversation.

"What language are you speaking?" says she. which of course leads the doctor to say, "at the moment, English".
(Tue 12th Jul 2005, 22:32, More)

» Claims to Fame

Not the best...
My girlfriend used to be babysat by Elvis Costello's dad (incidentally the man who did the R Whites Secret Lemonade Drinker song).

Also, I did work experience at a newspaper and worked for none other that Margot off Hartbeat, went to a press release and met two people who apparently feature in the scottish soap "Take the High Road". Truly the life of Riley that journalism lark.

Ooh! And my brother served the guy who was Inspector Morse's sidekick in a pub. He had a shandy. I dined out on that one for weeks.
(Tue 1st Mar 2005, 20:32, More)