b3ta.com user jamesthegill
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Profile for jamesthegill:
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Erm...yeah. 25, phone-monkey for a large telecommunications company, rides a Suzuki 600 Bandit (usually into roundabouts). Should you feel the urge to contact me then go and lie down in a darkened room for an hour or so, then the feeling should pass.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Famous people I hate

Daniel Corbett
He's not that famous and I don't hate him really, but anyway.

Some of you may recognise him from the weather bulletins on the BBC news. I've only seen him on the 6 o'clock ones but I'm sure he's on others. The reason for my dislike? He's terrifying. He looks like he's plotting to eat the news readers flesh. And that grin...if it got any wider it'd cause his head to hinge in a very alarming fashion.

I'm half convinced that one day, when I'm watching the weather, he'll break off and talk directly to me via the camera. "In the south-west, there will be mild precipitation and I'm watching you James. I can see you. I'm coming to get you. But with a dry night, overall."

That's him. I'm sure he's a nice chap, really. But he scares me.
(Sun 7th Feb 2010, 10:46, More)

» Call Centres

Phone box blues
As part of the order process we're supposed to ask customers if they want their telephone number in the phone book. Yesterday I was setting up a 'phone line for an old dear who was doddering about in the background while I was chatting to her daughter.

"So, do you want your mum's number in the phone book?"
"MUM! Do you want your number in the phone book?"
"Why would I want my number in the phone box? I'll get all sorts of pervy calls from dirty old men thinking I'm a prostitute! I don't mind the pervy calls but I don't want them thinking I'm a whore!"

I was so glad the daughter couldn't see me struggling to keep a straight face.

Then, today, I was sat reading Veronica Mars quotes I'd emailed to myself to stop myself getting bored when I hear from the chap next to me:

"No, don't worry, I'll do it as fast as I can."
"No, you won't run out of air, don't worry."
"Don't worry, our phone boxes are not airtight. You'll be fine."
"You're not in a vacuum! Our phone boxes aren't air tight, you won't run out of oxygen."
(Sat 5th Sep 2009, 19:48, More)

» The Boss

My boss
My boss was a bully. Always on at me to work Saturdays, always haranguing me about TPS reports, lording it over the other guys I worked with too. Mind you, that all changed when I had this hypnotherapy session which really changed my outlook, I moved a wall from my cubicle to give me a better view, ripped down his stupid motivational banners, destroyed a fax machine and stole his parking space ā€“ and despite this I got promoted!

Unfortunately the two other guys I was working with got sacked so we hatched a plan to steal fractions of pennies from the company ā€“ it worked a little too well and we ended up with nearly a third of a million. Anyway, long story short, the quiet mumbly guy who everyone ignored ended burning the entire place down. Still, Iā€™m in construction now, which suits me better.
(Fri 19th Jun 2009, 13:17, More)

» Gyms

I went to a gym once.
He fixed it for me.
(Thu 9th Jul 2009, 13:49, More)

» Tramps

Short and sweet for now
Random exchange with a tramp in Canterbury:

"'ere, 'scuse me mate, 'ave you gotta spare fag?"
"Er no, sorry, I don't smoke."
"But you must smoke! You've got a beard!"

Can't beat tramp logic.
(Thu 2nd Jul 2009, 16:46, More)
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