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Profile for paranoidvisions:
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its only me

No FTP, no qualifications, just blood, sweat and tears; ta da! My

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Weddings

Nice summer wedding, out the back of marquee having a *smoke* and making polite converstion;
me: So what do you do?
him: I'm a policeman
me: I'll get me coat......

Different wedding, mate brings new but dim girlfriend;
her: So who are you with?
Bride (in big white dress): Im the bride...
her: oh
She might have been dim, but there was a queue of blokes waiting to talk to her behind the bushes though.

No apologies, just wipe it on the curtain on the way out
(Sun 17th Jul 2005, 2:03, More)

» Scary Neighbours


We don't have any neighbours.

We live in the country side and its fantastic.
(Sun 28th Aug 2005, 23:48, More)

» The Police

pedantic but,
whats the question?

If its "do the police take the piss?" then IMHO yes. Recently, Having been attacked by a loon, we called the police for help. Got put on hold and eventually got told someone would be attending soon. After an hour of hiding from the loon in a church yard, we rang again and got told they were all busy. Fuck this for a game of soldiers! we went home. Only to woken at 3AM and giving a bollocking for leaving a crime scene. Tossers.

Come the revolution,

I'll be near the back somewhere
(Sun 25th Sep 2005, 21:39, More)

» Take my Mother-in-law...

hardly worth posting
But my mother in law is wonderful. Brought me a bottle of JD for my birthday. Top Girl
(Sun 11th Sep 2005, 1:49, More)

» Shoddy Presents

thanks v much
I had recently let the police hold onto my driving licence for safe keeping (as they do) and imagine my gratitude, when for Christmas my gran gave me a car shampoo set! Bucket, Sponge the lot. Hmmm.
(Sat 25th Sep 2004, 23:33, More)
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