Profile for Ted P:
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- a member for 19 years, 6 months and 11 days
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- has posted 6 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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» Never Meet Your Heroes
Off Topic But Hey, Who Isn't?
About as off topic as most in here and didn't even happen to me, but reading through the others, I saw a Darth Vader reference and remembered this.
My mate, Dave, was at a comic convention with a few celebs who were all selling ink for £25-£40. He gog to look down Marina Sirtis's top and swears he saw nipple, but that's not the best bit.
He turned a corner and was faced with Darth Vader and several Stormtroopers marching toward him. Without a split-second of a pause, he went into the whole "you cannot frighten us with your sorceror's ways ..." speech, hoping that Darth would play along.
Fair play to the pretend Darth, he did a Sith grip (or whatever it's called) and Dave collapsed on the floor, choking.
In his tiny geek mind, life will probably not get any better until he finally finds a girlfriend (he's 28).
No apologies for length - one should always be proud.
(Thu 25th May 2006, 17:34, More)
Off Topic But Hey, Who Isn't?
About as off topic as most in here and didn't even happen to me, but reading through the others, I saw a Darth Vader reference and remembered this.
My mate, Dave, was at a comic convention with a few celebs who were all selling ink for £25-£40. He gog to look down Marina Sirtis's top and swears he saw nipple, but that's not the best bit.
He turned a corner and was faced with Darth Vader and several Stormtroopers marching toward him. Without a split-second of a pause, he went into the whole "you cannot frighten us with your sorceror's ways ..." speech, hoping that Darth would play along.
Fair play to the pretend Darth, he did a Sith grip (or whatever it's called) and Dave collapsed on the floor, choking.
In his tiny geek mind, life will probably not get any better until he finally finds a girlfriend (he's 28).
No apologies for length - one should always be proud.
(Thu 25th May 2006, 17:34, More)
» Never Meet Your Heroes
Don't Draw a Penis
I have four people I'd like to meet - Jonti (Weebl), Simon Pegg, Derren Brown and ... ummm, I can never remember the fourth ... it might be Evangeline Lilly simply because she's hot.
Anyway, I went to a Derren Brown show and managed to persuade him into letting me onto the stage. He did the old "draw something" routine and - like he did with that fella off League of Gentlemen - advised me not to "draw something obvious - like a house, a stick man ... or a penis".
It all went fine; I assumed (wrongly) that I was much cleverer than him and would 'win' and he basically spent ten minutes taking the piss out of me in front of a packed audience.
Cock.
(Thu 25th May 2006, 17:16, More)
Don't Draw a Penis
I have four people I'd like to meet - Jonti (Weebl), Simon Pegg, Derren Brown and ... ummm, I can never remember the fourth ... it might be Evangeline Lilly simply because she's hot.
Anyway, I went to a Derren Brown show and managed to persuade him into letting me onto the stage. He did the old "draw something" routine and - like he did with that fella off League of Gentlemen - advised me not to "draw something obvious - like a house, a stick man ... or a penis".
It all went fine; I assumed (wrongly) that I was much cleverer than him and would 'win' and he basically spent ten minutes taking the piss out of me in front of a packed audience.
Cock.
(Thu 25th May 2006, 17:16, More)
» Airport Stories
Who are you?
When I was ten or so, my dad used to work in Libya and Saudi for six months and come home for two weeks. Basically, this meant I got loads of cool 'guilt junk'.
One time I remember my mum and me patiently waiting for him at the airport. I spotted him at the arrival lounge and followed him to the phones, all the time wondering why he was smiling at me in an odd way.
I followed and followed until we go to the phones. "Who are you calling?" I asked.
"My family." he replied.
The git had forgotten who I was. Hey-ho - at least I got some more cool guilt junk.
(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 8:52, More)
Who are you?
When I was ten or so, my dad used to work in Libya and Saudi for six months and come home for two weeks. Basically, this meant I got loads of cool 'guilt junk'.
One time I remember my mum and me patiently waiting for him at the airport. I spotted him at the arrival lounge and followed him to the phones, all the time wondering why he was smiling at me in an odd way.
I followed and followed until we go to the phones. "Who are you calling?" I asked.
"My family." he replied.
The git had forgotten who I was. Hey-ho - at least I got some more cool guilt junk.
(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 8:52, More)
» Losing Your Virginity
As I was watching my dad mow the lawn ..
... and you know what - that really didn't add to the mood. Consequently, it was crap and I'm not even sure it counted. I ended up marrying her though, and now - fourteen or so years later - I can definitely say I've found my virginity again. Dammit.
(Thu 3rd Mar 2005, 19:19, More)
As I was watching my dad mow the lawn ..
... and you know what - that really didn't add to the mood. Consequently, it was crap and I'm not even sure it counted. I ended up marrying her though, and now - fourteen or so years later - I can definitely say I've found my virginity again. Dammit.
(Thu 3rd Mar 2005, 19:19, More)
» Teenage Poetry
I'm in work
So I don't have any of my teenage poetry and I can't remember any of it, but it would have been like this ...
My orange juice,
Says it's,
'With bits',
I hope that it's,
Not bits,
Of cheese.
(Thu 18th Aug 2005, 10:55, More)
I'm in work
So I don't have any of my teenage poetry and I can't remember any of it, but it would have been like this ...
My orange juice,
Says it's,
'With bits',
I hope that it's,
Not bits,
Of cheese.
(Thu 18th Aug 2005, 10:55, More)