» Accidental innuendo

Oooohhh Sailor etc. etc.
My mate Andy rolls two cigarettes for the way home from work. One for when we're leaving and one for when we're nearly home. After the short walk to where we were parked we sat in the car and Andy put both cigarettes in his mouth while he took his keys out his pocket.

At which point two girls walked past the car and shot Andy (Rollies in mouth) and myself the dirtiest look. "What's their problem?" I asked in bemusement, to which Andy replied;

"They've probably never seen a couple of fags before"....
(Sun 15th Jun 2008, 15:03, More)

» The Onosecond

sheeeeeeee.t.
i'd been seeing a girl for a few weeks and didn't know whether i wanted it to go any further. i know she REALLY liked me but I'm not sure I could say the same back, so being a man I texted her to end it. 5 minutes later I texted summit along the lines of 'i've dumped her let's go for a pint' to my buddy. a few minutes later i get the same message sent back to me by her. with a 'cheers for that' tagged on the end.
bollocks.
(Tue 31st May 2005, 1:14, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

Worst Nicknames Ever
My nick name went from McFly (as i bore a resembelence to the j. fox) but then it sadly gave way to fly because i was small and pissed people off.
ah well.
it's massive wang now.
(Fri 19th May 2006, 0:06, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

life is fucking shit.
it's 23.52 i've split up with a girl earlier today simply because i didn't know what the fuck my brain wanted to do and now i'm reading this page of possibily the saddest stories i've ever heard. i'm listening to the most fucking emo music i own (which i hate) and sobbing quietly to myself. i was 22 last week and realised that my life really isn't going anywhere and i might as well just stay in bed for the rest of it. oh well, there's always beer and dancing i suppose. smile. what the fuck else is there to do?
(Sun 17th Apr 2005, 23:54, More)