b3ta.com user gaijintendo
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Recent front page messages:

eat this!

(Wed 2nd Aug 2006, 19:16, More)


Habbo Everyone!
(Mon 27th Mar 2006, 15:36, More)

Hooray for work!

features variable settings...

As seen on TV!

(Tue 21st Mar 2006, 13:33, More)

The best thing about DVDs...
is the deleted scenes

Edit: may be a crap 'shop, but by 'ek I need to tidy up my tag.
Edit: Yay! 1 year + 1 day = 1 fp! Thanks!
(Sat 5th Nov 2005, 11:15, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Lies I told on my CV

I was the "Young Captain Birdseye 2000-2001"
just for the hell of it in an application for a job I did not want all that much.
(Mon 10th Jul 2006, 23:36, More)

» Panic Buying

Why panic-buy?
When you can panic-steal? Christmas is full of houses and flats with nobody in coz they are at thair parents/daughters etc. I am not condoning panic-theft, but it seems to me like a potential solution if the shops have all closed on Xmas Eve.

Only drawbacks are you might get panic-arrested.
(Mon 26th Dec 2005, 12:52, More)

» Weddings

I was recently at a wedding of two wonderful people who I hardly knew
but they had great taste in wine so I got wrecked. They had this plush loo which played classical music, but was tiny and got a little intimate if there was more than 2 occupants.

Well, two people were in the loo - so I went to the vacant toilet stall. Which was pleasant enough, except for a HUGE bluebottle buzzing around the place. It stopped for a second, and in a drunken second tried to swat it - with piss. But the bugger moved, and I followed it.

I had a great time, and got the little fly soaked good and proper. When I dropped-kilt and left the stall, I got some weird looks from the people in the loo, and later on, some weird looks from the host.
(Fri 15th Jul 2005, 2:56, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

I had a dream I had humane mouse traps
but I didn't want the mice to come back, so I shook the humane mouse trap inhamanely and killed the mouse. I went to dump the dead mouse in the woods near my childhood home.

I got really emotional and started shouting at the dead mouse pile to "fuck off". Which is kinda weird. They were dead. I woke up with weepy eyes, which freaked me out. Normally its soggy pyjamas.
(Fri 15th Apr 2005, 11:36, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Q: Why do horses make snort noises?
A: Coz they need to Pee really badly, but you're watching! Turn your back! Walk away!
H: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh that's better.
(Mon 27th Jan 2020, 18:48, More)
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