b3ta.com user Boney N
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Profile for Boney N:
Profile Info:

Age: Almost 30 (years)
Sex: Male
Wife: 1
Kids: 1
Cats: 2 (1 ginge, 1 various)
Beverages: Strong Tea / Guinness
Food: anything except apples eggs and tuna
Music: Older stuff. 60's rock, 70's punk, Zappa, Velvets, REM, The Doors, Dylan.
Sports: Archery, 1/2 Marathons, badmington. Crap at all though.

Hates: Reality TV, coffee, tuna, eggs, Portsmouth and all its kind

Recent front page messages:


none

Best answers to questions:

» Misunderstood

Accents
My wife was in the process of being made redundant and was hoping for gardening leave. I suggested she should act weird and/or offensive to try and pursuade her bosses to get her out asap. Because her office was moving to india I said she should go in to work and talk in her worst indian accent.

Baffled I was, as she replied "Yarr Man," in her best Bob Marley.

Worst indian, not West Indian ffs
(Fri 7th Oct 2005, 11:56, More)

» Weddings

Many brides cry...
But not mine. There was a mirror behind the "altar" in the hotel where we got married so I could see her walk up the aisle.

She was p***ing herself laughing, and continued to do so throughout the ceremony.
(Fri 15th Jul 2005, 16:40, More)

» Weddings

Baptist Wedding
Got dragged to a baptist wedding in London by the wife (it was one of her workmates).

Firstly, not being religious types, we had to stiffle our giggles as the happy clapping started. I was dragged up catholic so i'm used to churches and masses but not when people are waving their arms ( showing of their "What would Jesus do?" wristbands) to the dodgy modern hymns.

Then the minister addresses the non-parishoners, saying that being a good person was not enough, you must give your life to Jesus or you're off to Hell.

And then he asked for our prayers. Silently I thought so i just looked at my feet. But no, randomly from all four corners of the church people were piping up in turn to pray for the happy couple. I'm sure it was nice for them, but to me it was just a bit to much like a cult.
(Fri 15th Jul 2005, 16:50, More)

» I just don't get it

Scrabble
I don't understand why the tile holder in Scrabble has space for 8 tiles yet you are only allowed 7.
(Wed 6th Apr 2005, 14:31, More)

» Scars with history

Only a liitle one...
...and it's hidden by my left eyebrow.

I was going down the garden path on a skateboard on my hands and knees when a tassle from the hooded top i was wearing went under the front wheels dragging my head down onto the paving slabs. By using my face as a brake for about 2 feet i put scabs up the left side of my face, which mostly cleared up, thankfully.
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 11:15, More)
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