b3ta.com user 100% of Gibbon
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Recent front page messages:

Medium, rare or well done?

(Sun 27th Jun 2004, 11:25, More)

Perfect for strimming the plains of ancient Babylonia. The all-new Flymosaur.

(Tue 11th May 2004, 21:29, More)

Derek had had a lot to drink, and wasn't sure how he'd ended up in this position...

...but he knew that his predicament could only get worse before it got better.
(Fri 5th Mar 2004, 17:22, More)

I don't know how it solved all those World War 2 codes...

...but I'm pretty certain it had quite a lot to do with ants and grubs.
(Sat 27th Dec 2003, 23:06, More)

Winnie The Mandela

And another thing. People who thank donkeys for getting a front page are cunts.
(Fri 5th Sep 2003, 21:39, More)

Dirty robot!

Caught in the act...
(Fri 28th Feb 2003, 20:22, More)

I'm sorry. I just love pirates.

Hopefully, I'll dream about them tonight now.
(Mon 24th Feb 2003, 23:19, More)

The Beagle Has Landed...
cssshhhhhhhh cshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Edit: More Beagly Goodness...
Beagle Knievel
Where Beagles Dare

(Mon 13th Jan 2003, 22:47, More)

Clive is getting
VERY excited about his Christmas present...

I wonder what it could be...?
(Fri 20th Dec 2002, 23:37, More)

Students protesting again, are they?

What is it this time, then? More money for Pot Noodles & cheap watery lager?
(Wed 4th Dec 2002, 9:09, More)

Desmond Tutu

in all his odd dancing glory, as requested (believe it or not) last night
(Sun 27th Oct 2002, 21:45, More)

oooohhh I say!

(Sat 26th Oct 2002, 15:54, More)

Up Up & Away In My Beautiful Baboon

Looks like Furtive has found another means of getaway - pull his tail to make him go higher.
(Sun 23rd Jun 2002, 19:31, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Foot in Mouth Syndrome

When I was in my first year at University in Liverpool
I used to go fairly regularly to a RAWK club called the Krazy House. One Friday night, in something of a stupor, I was weaving my way through the bar and felt myself bump into someone. I turned around and saw a girl on the floor that I'd knocked over. Being a "perfect gentleman", I went to pick her up, whereupon she started screaming and shouting at me to put her back down again. Behind her, I could see a neatly folded up wheelchair. Looking down slowly, it became horrifyingly apparent to me that she didn't have any legs.

I placed her gently back on the ground very very carefully, and continued on my merry way. It wasn't until the next morning that it all came back to me, but fortunately my friends had seen it all and were more than happy to continually remind me of it for the next couple of years or so.
(Tue 20th Apr 2004, 23:34, More)

» The Weird Kid In Class

Kevin Hale. 1983-84. Beaumont School, St Albans.
He turned up half an hour late to my class, soaking wet and covered in dirt and bits of bracken, on my first day of secondary school and, upon being asked why he was so late, replied breathlessly, "I WAS CHASED THROUGH A FIELD BY A MAN". We found out shortly afterwards that he lived about five minutes walk from the school. He was shipped off to a "special school" a few weeks later.
(Fri 19th Jan 2007, 20:40, More)

» Evidence that you're getting old

There's a bloke in our office
who's never heard of the zx spectrum. I find this tragic, on many different levels.
(Wed 3rd Nov 2004, 1:19, More)

» Never Meet Your Heroes

Not me, but I was present at the time...
We were at The Purple Turtle in Mornington Crescent when fellow B3ta board member Quelabra almost got in a fight with the alleged "comedian/magician" Jerry Sadowitz, because Quelabra wanted a photograph of the top-hatted poultroon being "held like a duck".

And we saw Robert Downey Jr in The Crown & Goose in Camden. He was reading a paper and looking very normal. I should have offered him some tequila, some crack and a gun. But hindsight has 20/20 vision.

And Rhys Ifans in The Lord Stanley, which is also in Camden.

I'm fairly certain that all of these celebrities only descended on NW1 because I lived there. Now we've moved, it'll just be crackwhores and goths again.
(Sun 28th May 2006, 4:13, More)

» Local Nutters

You already mentioned my local nutter. Although there is also Mr Shakehandsman - the glass collector in The Lord Stanley on Camden Park Road, who shakes hands with every man that goes in there and kisses every lady who goes in there on the back of his hand. Which would be charming, if he didn't wear a digital stopwatch round his neck and have tattoos on the palms of his hands.
(Fri 17th Sep 2004, 10:47, More)
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