» It was a great holiday, but...

Moped
I went on holiday a couple of years back to Ipsos in Corfu with my best mate.

We hired out some mopeds (I had never been on one before) and decided to go for a tour of the island.

Halfway up one of the mountain roads a huge bug type thing twatted me on the head and landed on my lap. It had red legs and a black body and started crawling up my front.

Looking at me you wouldnt think I would be scared of something like that (6ft5, well built), but alas I screamed like a girl and fell off the side of the road onto the bottom of an olive grove.

I have never been on a moped, or eaten an olive since. I have been emotionally damaged from my experience.
(Thu 21st Apr 2005, 15:25, More)

» Beautiful Moments

Mono Sex
The day I realised that my piss stick was not just for pissing.
(Fri 11th Mar 2005, 15:37, More)

» The last thing that made me cry

Green Mile
I watched the Green Mile the other day.

I bawled myself senseless when the gargantuan black guy got electrocuted.

I cried so hard I had to go and curl one out afterwards.

Also, my missus gave Jesus his P45 the other day. It makes me sad because Jesus is a nice person really.
(Thu 14th Apr 2005, 14:15, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

Big Nugget
I feel satisfied and fulfilled when I have been for a massive ring splitting shit...

Its even better if you have to flush more than once to get rid of it...

Its even better than that if the toilet gets so blocked up that it fills up to the rim during the flush...

But even all that doesn't compare to the feeling of elation when my girlfriend walks in with a look of disgust on her face because of the aromatic smell I have produced!
(Wed 13th Apr 2005, 14:55, More)

» I just don't get it

But why???
Sprouts - Does anybody like them?

New Fords - They all look the same. Why?

Tony Blair - Why does that cunt get all my hard earned pennies?

Easter - Why the hell does the date change each year?
(Wed 6th Apr 2005, 17:02, More)