» Apparently I'm a sex offender

Ahhh, well...
Recent as well, this one - go swimming regularly and recently managed to drag my dear ma along (seeing as she's old and rather unfit) - as I'm getting my gear out of those sihtty lockers they give you, this fleshy-coloured blur (I'm blind as a bat without my glasses) is opening the locker at the other end of the changing rooms...I think I recognise it, so I peer intently...then it occurs to me to put my specs on, and I'm eyeing up this surprisingly tall eleven-year-old girl in a two-piece costume. Look away embarrassedly, to see my mother and a pool attendant looking at me like I'm a fresh car crash...I guess they misread the look of interest on my face...

Bloody communal changing rooms. And bloody short-sightedness.
(Thu 17th Aug 2006, 23:16, More)

» Claims to Fame

Rockstars also...
The keys/bass player in my band (which I started with my mate fucking ages ago in high school and still ain't getting too far with...give it time though, it's only been 11 years) played keys in OMD, and was also in the Stone Roses after John Squire quit. You can see him in promo photos for the Roses when they played Reading '95. He wrote 'Walking On The Milky Way' and stole Andy McCluskey's samples when he quit OMD - fair play to him.

Well, *I'M* proud...
(Wed 2nd Mar 2005, 2:05, More)

» Tactless

I surely DIDN'T shag YOUR mum
Short but sweet: many moons ago, charging round the sixth form centre, happily getting in everyone's face and telling them 'I shagged your mum', 'and I shagged YOUR mum', 'and YOURS', 'and...' you get the drift. I was a pleasant young man in those days. Anyway, the last girl whom I informed of my matricial carnal union didn't take it too well, as her mum had recently died from cancer.
What's doubly random is that we ended up going out for almost two years.
What's TREBLY random is that my wife's mother had also died before I met her. (Cue Twilight Zone theme...)
(Wed 9th Nov 2011, 18:39, More)

» Childhood bad taste

Dear flaming holy God...
...I can't believe people are saying Ricky Martin and Babylon Zoo were their first music purchases. I feel OLD now, goddamit!

First Album: Eurythmics, Greatest Hits;
First CD: Ugly Kid Joe, America's Least Wanted;
First Single: Bruce Springsteen, Streets Of Philadelphia;

I also believe I win on the shellsuit front. I had an England shellsuit. Oh yes. I also had a Naff Co 54 jacket - bow down and worship me now.

Whilst we're on this subject and we appear to be knocking around mainly 80's/90's nostalgia, I have a sub-question: does anybody remember a cartoon about a girl and a dog that wandered on to a spaceship and got blasted to a planet of robots? All the good robots were dysfunctional in some way and all the bad robots were poor imitations of Cylons and said 'Affirmative' all the time. If someone can name that, I will send them a pen, and they will see that the pen is good.

/firstpost - rock on!
(Tue 14th Dec 2004, 3:29, More)