b3ta.com user The Legendary Pink Dot
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Meta-related pea

(Fri 4th Nov 2022, 11:40, More)

Thanks for fp :)
(Tue 16th Feb 2021, 18:56, More)

new flavour line!!1

(Thu 14th Jan 2021, 22:59, More)


(Thu 17th Dec 2020, 16:25, More)


(Fri 13th Oct 2017, 15:54, More)

burger toap

(Mon 9th Oct 2017, 20:00, More)

Entirely too much work went into this..

(Thu 29th Oct 2015, 16:10, More)

(Mon 21st Feb 2005, 11:10, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Childhood Ambitions

When I was little I wanted to grow up to be a pedant.

Quote: "The result was a mental alarm clock shouting, 'I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES.'"

"I NEED TO LOOK AT GIRL'S FANNIES" should have the apostrophe AFTER the 's'.

(Fri 30th Mar 2007, 14:38, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

Non computer-related skiving
In the glorious July of 1995, on summer holiday from college, a friend and I spent three mornings a week cleaning a ten storey council house block. Whilst my friend was dragged off to empty the bins and pick up litter in the gardens every day (a thankless task) I was left to my own devices to sweep all ten floors.

A typical morning for me would involve half an hour's light broom-time, a lengthy visit to the surprisingly comfortable paper-bin cupboard (lockable from the inside) to 'read' the old copies of The Sport piling up in there, followed by a trip up to the sunny roof to spend the rest of the morning making drawings of the view, smoking cigs and folding paper aeroplanes to throw down on my poor friend tirelessly cleaning the bins in the baking heat ten storeys below.
(Wed 27th Apr 2005, 16:56, More)

» The Police

Walking from Paddington Station to our house
one hot summer's evening, my girlfriend had just a t-shirt and pair of Alan Partridge's favourite hot pants on, as was her want. Cue loud shouts of "phwwooooaarrrr!" and other assorted niceties rapidly approaching from behind us. We turned round just in time to see a Police van scream past us full of the Boys in Blue who were hanging out of the window commenting coarsely on my girlfriend's state of dress.
(Thu 22nd Sep 2005, 16:47, More)

» Petty Sabotage

The 'Water Board' scam
Ten years ago I lived in university halls (Morel Hall - Oxford Brookes). The 'halls' were actually blocks of six or ten flats built in a not-unattractive ski chalet style, set in several acres of equally not-unattractive parkland.

We pulled quite a few stunts (of course, groan) but one of the best was the night my friend and I rang the block of some of the overseas students, claiming to be from the Local Water Board. My friend, who had a deeper and more authoritative voice than mine, casually informed them that their water would be turned off early the next morning and that they would have to fill their bath and large saucepans for their next day's water needs.

So off we ran, spliffs ready rolled, to sit outside their patio doors and watch them fruitlessly filling anything they could lay their hands on with ice cold water. Amazingly they never twigged that the call had been made on the internal phone system. It provided us with half an hour's hazy amusement anyway.
(Thu 5th May 2005, 9:02, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

How many bloods did it take before someone made a film about Rambo?
(Mon 26th Aug 2019, 19:45, More)
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