b3ta.com user davemate11
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» Singing the wrong words

Mc Hammer 'i like big buts' alternative lyrics
i like bukkae an' i cannot lie
Came right in yo' girfriend' eye
That girl looks up, you know that she loves the taste
My thing in yo' face. You got SPUNKED
Gunna pull out first, but you know that u bin FUCKED
All over her face shes smearing
Im hooked an i cant stop swearing
shit baby, fuckin get it inya
the shit dont get much sicka' (sicker)
My gonads are gently warrrrming
This shit just gets me horrrney
Ohh, cream covered skin
Your bathing in my man milk
In you hair, excuse me!
Cuz i came upon your booooooty
i seen my chance in
cuming on your fat chin
She's great, wet.
Got it goin like a sprinkler set
I'm tired o' magazines
Sayin this shit is obscene
Take the average Jap man and ask him that
She gotta knock some back
So fella's (yeah) Fella's (yeah)
Does your girlfriend want the shot (hell yeah)
So tell em just to take it (Take it)
Take it (take it)
lap it like a mutt (cringe worthy- sorry)
Baby get back
(eyes open while im shooting)
Baby get back
(eyes open while im shooting)
(eyes open while im shooting)
(Thu 3rd Feb 2005, 15:08, More)

» How I Skive Off Work

typical day
because the network was so rubbish, and company spending on work stations was dire when i worked for HP, it would take about 40 minutes to an hour for my pc to actually start doing anything, download updates, restart, download emails etc.
so i would wander off for breakfast. and complain to my manager that i needed a new laptop.

then the next 30 minutes was taken up reading emails and filtering out all the news, and other crap that got sent around the network for the staff.

i would reply to a few emails, and go for lunch for an hour.

then reply to some emails and do some work for about an hour or two.

then it was coffee time which took about 25 minutes

and then home early for 430 to avoid the traffic.

of course if i hadnt underclocked my work computer, and had all my emails stored on the network i *might* have been able to work a bit quicker. oh well!
(Thu 28th Apr 2005, 3:49, More)

» Useless Information

origin of saying
the saying saved by the bell came from the fact in victorian times they often didnt diagnose people dead properly and actually got buried alive. because of this people were buried with a small bell.

this also coined the phrase graveyard shift, becuase somone has the task of sitting in a graveyard to listen for the bell some hours ofter the person was buried.
(Tue 22nd Mar 2005, 16:48, More)

» When animals attack...

wasps are evil
I was walking my dog when i was about 15 or so and i got suddenly attacked by a swarm of wasps, thankfully it was a cold day and i was wearing 3 layers but they were going mental just sitting and stinging my repeateld. like i said i was wearing thick stuff so i was ok.. until one got me in the back of the neck, bastard. it bloody hurt.

i have never liked wasps and i guess they could take the rejection
(Tue 7th Jun 2005, 7:18, More)

» Scars with history

matching scars
A couple of years ago i got ill and needed my spleet removed, causing a moleste 9 inch scar down the middle of my stomach. i just had an operation to remove a lump on my nuts so i have a scar down my sac. if you look straigh on it looks like one moleste scar.

kinda james bond on the wood cutter looking!
(Fri 4th Feb 2005, 17:02, More)
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