b3ta.com user MattCD
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I like wrestling, random fun, and beer. and chicks. not that chicks like me....but i like them.

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» My Arch-nemesis

I had to write a story about a storm
As a 7 year old lad at primary school along with the rest of my table. Although I overheard my testoserone pumped 20 someting teacher, Mr. kendrick, explaining to the next table that they were make a story about ROBOTS!

I obviously liked the idea of crushing metal and laser beams more than rain and clouds . . . but I understood my task and so worte about storm MADE by a massive robot

aha I was ecstatic about my lightning eyed titanium monster, whose tears of pain caused a horrific downpour,and creaking plates echoed fierce thunder rumbles and untold destruction, so headed over the my teacher to show him my masterpiece.

This is how I met my nemisis. Mr. Kendrick read through it.
"This isn't about a storm! This is about Robots! That wasn't your task! Why cant you just do what your told!" big black marker pen on both sheets, ripped it out of my exercise book, screwed up and chucked it in the bin. "Now go and do what I TOLD YOU!

Many years have passed, but I still class him a grade A twat.

(Futher reading)More reason to make him my nemisis, at sports day Mr.K. promised the fastest 100m runner a mars bar. I won. There was no mars bar. CUNT.

I feel much better now.
(Thu 29th Apr 2010, 17:25, More)

» Best and worst TV ads

beep dot com!
I swear a few years back there was an "advert" on the BBC tv channels explainging about a new "intrnet shopping from the BBC! I'ts beep dot com!" at around christmas one year with a sing-a-long red dot encouraging a karaoke.

Call me mad, but i have searched over the internets and can not find proof of it ever existing! Do you remember anything like this? Or should i reign in my imagination...
(Thu 22nd Apr 2010, 10:26, More)

» Doctors, Nurses, Dentists and Hospitals

A few years ago on the French exchange , , ,
It was the hottest day of the year, and we were coming back to England the next day and so in our teenage wisdom we spend all day half naked in the sun, jumping into the sea and smoking cheap cigarettes on mopeds.
That night I could not sleep as it felt like my back was on fire, I touched my face to find that it felt how i'd imagine greasy bubble-wrap would feel. Low and behold the next morning I awoke, as captain scarlet with second degree burns and blisters like golf balls over my back, neck and shoulders.
When our School group came together ready to leave it was decided that I couldn't get on the ferry home because I needed medical treatment. I said my goodbyes to the French, goodbye to my classmates and hello to a French hospital with my languages teacher who had stayed behind with me.

Two attractive French lady nurses (I know, I KNOW!) eventually saw me, after waving passports at the front desk and leaving the talking up to Mr.P. He discussed the situation and I was told to lay my un-continental self on the table while these nurses used what can only be described as a knitting needle to burst my puss filled blisters.

Turning to my teacher, the nurse with the needle rolled her eyes and muttered something.
My teacher de-coded for me . . . "She is just saying, 'I love my job'."
Probably the biggest cultural learning curve I gained from that trip was the French attitude from that situation. And that not all teachers are nonses...alone in a foreign country with Mr.P. was alright, I got a longer time in France than any of my classmates and a free ice cream on the ferry home.

Still got a scar or two on my back as well, merci mademoiselles.
(Fri 12th Mar 2010, 11:02, More)