b3ta.com user $wift
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» Stupid Tourists

Won Kei
I was in a restaurant in London called the Won Kei happily eating my meal when two Americans walked in. Now this restraint attempts to get you in and out as quickly as possible so as soon as the Americans sit down they are promptly given a menu. The Americans look up and down the menu and finally ask the Chinese waiter “what would you recommend?” to which the Chinese waiter promptly replies “We no recommend, you choose or you fuck off!” I nearly pissed myself!
(Fri 8th Jul 2005, 16:40, More)

» Stuff I've found

Bees Shagging
Walking down the alleyway next to my house, smoking a spliff I came across two bees doing it doggystyle.
(Sat 8th Nov 2008, 0:13, More)

» Stuff I've found

A twig caught painfully up my snout...
I was with my pals walking the streets of Downham when we came across these 'abandoned' allotments (empty at time of encounter and slightly overgrown grass and shrubs is the kids definition of abandoned).

Not satisfied with kicking a few rocks and such we then proceeded the climb a fence. I volunteered to go first shooting upwards with enthusiasm. Missing my footing, I slid down only to some how on the way down position myself perfectly the receive a sharp and strong thin twig up my right nostril at quite a fucking speed!!

I shot back up and cleared the twig only to think before I went back down and jumped away from the wall to clear the brain piercing death trap.

I was in such paid and my eye watered for hours after. Not to mention copious amounts of snot and blood!!
(Sat 8th Nov 2008, 0:23, More)

» Urban Legends

Smarties
My mate told me that before one of his GCSE exams he got really stoned and wrote "only smarties have the answer" for every question, ive always had my suspicions about this story but i cant find it on snopes, does anyone else know anything about this?
(Tue 10th Jan 2006, 22:21, More)

» Pretentious bollocks

School trip
For a yr11 english trip we went up to london to see romeo and julliet.

It was played by for blokes minicng around and kissing eachother. The weird thing was i dont think they noticed that they were performing to a theatre full of 16 year olds and seemed offended when people started shouting faggot and the like
(Wed 28th Sep 2005, 20:41, More)
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