b3ta.com user cuntmuffin
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» Job Interviews

My worst so far...
Turned up to an interview at a bar, the morning after a booze and drugs binge mission.

Still not completely coherent, and definately not feeling the best I could remember, I managed to sit through the interview, just keeping my eyes open and giving vague and distant responses to everything.

Cue the end of the interview, and me, vomiting over the interviewer as I stood up.

I didn't get the job, and I now work at a different bar not even 5 minutes away. Said first bar went tits up less than six months later. I can't say they wouldn't have done if they employed me.
(Fri 21st Jan 2005, 16:20, More)

» Where is the strangest place you have slept?

Suppose most people have done these before too...
So I'll keep it short.

Next door neighbour's hedge,
Gravel on my own front garden,
A tutor's flat (that was a bit wrong, no?),
Museum gardens under a bench...

Err... okay, that was a bit pants.
(Sat 30th Dec 2006, 2:02, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Lord Manley...
I'm sure there are far worse people in the world than myself. And I feel I have been just in everything I do.

Another few, so this isn't a waste;

1) Living in shared accomodation is always gonna present it's problems, and although I never suffered from nicked food and the such, the lad that had the room above me used to like to listen to his music in the early hours of the morning, which would have been fine if he didn't have subs on his system. I found a great way to limit the volume he could get them to was to bridge the speaker termainals with resistors, so that when he turned it up too far the amp would trip due to short protection. It took him weeks to discover why the bass would suddenly cut out.

2) Logging into the managed switches at college and changing all the bandwidth policies because the techies were tits.

3) Installing linux onto all the computers in a room at college for the same reason as above.

4) Discovering the main techie's obsession with Xena warrior princess, and thus discovering his password. I created a few new users with admin priveliges, and then banned all the normal admins. The college had to get Novell support in to fix it.

5) Jamming the power supply fan of half the machines at an old job because they decided to make me redundant.

6) Changing the startup logos and other pre-logon graphics on a load of college machines.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 17:04, More)

» Petty Sabotage

Done quite a few...
1) I loosened the sump plug on a Nova at college to almost open because the twunt had driven into my car the day before due to driving like a cunt. He smashed my back bumper.

Imagine my delight as he wheelspun out of the college carpark, firing the sump plug out, along with all the oil in the engine. He didn't make it out of college before the engine ceased.

2) Replacing the wiper blades on my next door neighbour's car with wire coathangers, sharpened off on the side that touches the windscreen, because the twat kept paring on my drive. He had to get the windscreen (and wipers) replaced. I wish I had been there to hear the noise.

3) Stuffing fireworks into the backbox of a chav's car who tried to shag my sister. He's never been back to see her, and she still wonders where he went.

4) Swapping the voltage switch from 240V to 110V on my sister's old AT power supplied computer, just because I felt like it. Cue her pressing the switch and then screaming at the top of her voice as the base unit goes BANG!

5) Overinflating my dad's pushbike tyres so they'd burst when he hit bumps. He aparently came off it at quite a speed and thus ended up in hospital. Oops.

6) Setting up a mate's hifi to turn on and play an inserted tape of white noise at full volume at 4:30AM Sunday. Just for the laugh.

There's more, but this is enough now.

Apologies for length.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 15:20, More)

» Beautiful Moments

Emerging from my totally smashed up car,
total silence everywhere, and nothing around me apart from a couple of cows who occupied the field I ended up in, as I realised that I was alive.

The feeling only lasted 30 seconds or so as an angry farmer came out asking what the hell happenned.
(Tue 15th Mar 2005, 10:27, More)
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