b3ta.com user Keyser Soze
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Profile for Keyser Soze:
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Born Aug 82- Trainee Lawyer- live near Burnley

HATE Paul Mc Cartney cos he's a t**t

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Best answers to questions:

» Have you ever paid for sex?

Sex and young children (not in that order!!)
Reading Gleeballs reminded me of this.....

My mate is a teacher in the junior school bit of a grammar school in a North West town beginning with B.

One day the topic of 'what you want to do when you grow up?' came up (no pun intended- well sort of). One 7 year old boy replied with:

'i want to suck mens willys for money'


nearly as good as the boy who said he wanted to be a poo
(Fri 20th Jan 2006, 11:46, More)

» Mugged

This happened to my friend- and in all fairness - if i had to choose to be mugged this is what id want to happen.

Said friend- called Pete- hello if you're reading- had been on night out in Rochdale. He lived just out of the centre and so decided that walking home at 3 in the morning, alone, past some dark areas would be a good idea.

Anyhoo- hes on his was when 2 chavs stop him. They dont intsantly go for the jugular but begin talking to him, asking him if hes got any money- and they then ask for his phone. Pete is a thin chap and not a fighter and rather sensibly feels hes not going to take them both. However- he does have the wherewithall to think all his numbers are on his SIM and they probably dont want the SIM so he asks if he can take his SIM out. They agree (WTF!!??) so he hands the phone over. They then ask why he gave it them and he sed 'because you told me to' and they say 'mate - its a good phone- just cos we say so dont mean you do it- stand up for yourself' and gave it him back (WTF #2).

They then ask if hes got any money- to which he replies no- they dont beleive him and ask for his wallet so he gives it over- he has few notes in there- they ask how much it is to get into this club and then take the amount they need- £10- and give him the wallet back! (WTF #3)

So - to recap- he gets mugged- gets his stuff back, doesnt get a kicking, gets to keep his cards so doesnt have to go through the ballache of cancelling them etc, and they take just what they need!!

And people moan about the moral standards of the youth of today.........!
(Fri 16th Jun 2006, 13:56, More)

» Cheating cheaty cheats

I got fed up of all this 'courting' and 'making an effort' lark so used rohypnol instead

Job done!
(Tue 22nd Nov 2005, 16:22, More)

» That's when I knew it was over...

I knew it was over when the R dropped off my cars name badge
(Fri 22nd Jul 2005, 13:23, More)

» Have you ever paid for sex?

Paying for Sex
Ive not

But- on hols in Magaluff- drunkenly walking home (as you do)- my mate was accosted by a ferocious behemoth of the black skinned variety and was offered, rather agressivley, "40 euro (or wotever it was in 2002) for up the arse." Due to the fact he cudnt work out if she was offering hers or demanding his he declined and we laughed.

(Thu 19th Jan 2006, 14:01, More)
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