» Job Interviews

micro$haft
Hungover, tired and pissed off that I wasn't in bed, I turned up at *the makers of windows* (in reading) for a sandwich placement interview.

Interview started by a group of us being left alone in a room and asked to write our names of a bit of card. The pens smelled of shit and they didn't write on the cardboard so I got my own pen out and used that. Test 1 passed it seemed...

Next test was a group molest and competition to see who could name all of the flavours of the pens. WTF?! Needless to say they all smelt of cider to me, so I didn't win the teeshirt.

After a brief walk around we were bundled into groups in a room and asked to organised a trip to Rome. No other explanation - just some guy with a hardon just filming us in the corner. Our plan consisted of driving there in an old bus because some dappy bird suggested it and the rest of us were still wondering WTF we had got into.

For the next 30 mins I was stuck next to some twat on the help desk, where I watched him play on the internet and download video clips from a website in the Ukraine of a girl urinating out of a window.

Final test of the day was being shut in a room and made to call up the bloke in the room opposite and describe to him how to make this lego model. Except it wasn't a model - it was the product of some disabled child that had put bricks together thinking it was a giraffe. I got pissed at the guy on the other end as he pretended not to know what a lego brick was and twice dialled the wrong phone number.

I didn't get the job.
(Tue 25th Jan 2005, 10:56, More)