b3ta.com user ShockerMocker
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» Your Weirdest Teacher

Sister Charles
Sister Charles told us that when we went on dates we should bring a newspaper, a pin and a paper bag. If we had to sit on the boy's knee we had to put the newspaper down on it first. If the newspaper started rustling we had to stick the pin in him, and while he was still in shock, we had to put the paper bag over his head and run off as fast as we could.
(Thu 10th Nov 2005, 11:34, More)

» Beautiful Moments

Being constipated for a week...
...then being able to have a MASSIVE poo. I was so happy I nearly cried.
(Fri 11th Mar 2005, 13:03, More)

» Petty Sabotage

I was a good girl at the dentist (I opened my mouth really wide) so he gave me a tube of Crest as a reward. My sister was so jealous she stole my Crest, took it under her bed and ate the whole tube. I found its sucked out remains 2 weeks later and she had the nerve to suggest I HAD DONE IT IN MY SLEEP.
(Wed 4th May 2005, 17:23, More)

» Useless advice

Great advice from a nun
Never wear patent leather shoes with a skirt as they'll reflect your knickers.
(Fri 20th Oct 2006, 15:16, More)

» Weird Traditions

Name Calling
For as long as I can remember, my brother, sister and I have called each other by only the same two names between the three of us. The person coming into a room (the initiator) says 'Hiya Smell(s)' while the residents of a room (the recipients) reply 'Hiya Ugly'. They will be known by those names as long as the scene or episode lasts (e.g. "Do you want some tea, Ugly?" "Love some, Smell"). This also works for emails and telephone calls.
(Thu 28th Jul 2005, 17:40, More)
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