» Barred

Every kebab house in my town..
One day, a couple of years back, i decided to go on a "jihad" against every kebab house in the small shitty town of Rugby..
2 years later, and ive finally won..

Salmans - Nice kebabs, but one of their arrogant staff tried to force himself on my at the time girlfriend..
Barred for :- assaulting said member of staff, serious racial comments.. physical abuse, spitting at the staff, and throwing the food back at them.. chased out with a machete and kebab slicer :S

Mehfill - NOW THIS IS A SHITHOLE..
Found a foot sill attached to my chicken leg :)
barred for :- pissing over the counter, throwing an unopened can of coke at one of the staff, jumping over the counter to "spill some blood" (apparently), going out the back of the shop and screaming "is that a dead dog???"

Buddy's :- not bad people actually..
crime:- reports of high semen content in the mayo..
punishment:- smashing the fruit machine over, and emptying a 3ltr bottle of white lightning all over the staff, and sticking raw bacon to the windows.. (i was 15 at the time)

Peppers :- now i quite like these guys cos they do indian too, i just like to make £50+ orders and get it delivered to a random house.. just for the laugh like...

oh well..
(Fri 1st Sep 2006, 11:35, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

another one...
oh i nearly forgot, i like to stay awake till 3 a.m. and get my silenced air rifle, and use the view from my bedroom window of my long street as a shooting range.. porch lights and cats always a guilty guilty pleasure.. mmmm and the late night weekend buses, theres no pleasure greater *sigh*

makes watching scratched heads as i drive to work in the morning all the more satisfying, 3 years, still no one knows.

ahhhhhh
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 17:51, More)

» Toilets

sex!
Well, it was late one night at my place of work, and i have to lock up. my now ex-gf comes to meet me when i finish.

as im cleaning up, we settle for a drink, and watch 'leon' on the telly.

suddenly things get frisky, and we decide to go somewhere quieter.

a cubile in the pitch black ladies toilets
so we fumble around finally get into position a sort of semi standing "girl on top" and we go at it for a while until..

she smacks her head off the wall and is 100% spark out on me..

you dont understand how much this complicated and jepordised my employment and relationship.

so i left her there, thats why shes my ex.

a night of mind blowing proportions if u ask me
(Tue 6th Sep 2005, 17:29, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

toilet time
i also LOVE to walk into a packed nightclub toilet for a piss, and go freely into the urinal knowing that i *probably* out-dong the guys to the left and the right of me// the well endowed guys here know what i mean.. that feeling, and when you check their's on the sly, i cant help but smile..

and also with the toilet thing, when you see a guy go into the cubicle for a piss -even though- theres a urinal spare, you just KNOW his dick is ashamedly small..

ahhhhh

"that winning feeling"
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 18:03, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

i just love..
to use hair grips to pick the ear wax out then eat it up... only works once a week though

once you get used to it you get addicted i swear, dont go in too heavy though..
(Thu 7th Apr 2005, 17:44, More)