b3ta.com user Dogzilla
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» Encounters with Royalty

My mum was a nurse in blackpool in the 70's
My mum was working in the pregnant ladies ward of the hospital and R2D2's wife (the guy inside not the actual R2D2) was giving birth..my mum met R2D2 (not R2D2 but the little chap inside) i guess he's "Star Wars Royalty".

Oh, she gave birth to a baby...not a baby R2D2 in case you were wondering.
(Fri 4th Aug 2006, 1:23, More)

» Airport Stories

Watching telly with UN peace keepers
A few years ago i was working in West Africa, Guinea to be precise and had just managed to get my 2 weeks leave sorted...i had a pal who had procured a house boat on Lake Kariba in Zimbabwe - i was very keen to sit around a do nothing on said boat for a week or so...off i went.

On arrival in airports in West Africa it's usually a survival thing (you run to the desk and try and climb over the top of the other people trying to also get to the desk..a bit like an Olympic event...only the fittest survive) but today was different...the Sierra Leonean war had escalated, the UK had sent a battleship (yay) and generally things were ill tempered....long story short...there was about 10,000 people at the airport...ALL trying to get to the airline desk to get on the plane...in the end the plane was cancelled and we went home and drank beer...nice way to spend 5 hours!.

3 days later i turn up, get on a replacement plane on a totally different airline that wasnt even supposed to be flying (we heard a rumour off someone else that it was flying) and hopped on....i was handed a dry bun and a pickle for lunch...nice!

We had to refuel and drop off passengers in Sierra Leone....we got a flat tire on landing and had to stay there for 2 hours whilst it was repaired...anyways, the UN peacekeepers were there all living at the airport with the british army all armed to the teeth living there...great!..Anyways, there i am watching CNN on telly, with about 200 UN guys all watching a newscast about how tough it is in Sierra Leone.

So...the journey continues....i fly to Ghana 2 hours later...check into the airline for my connection to Johannesburg..."Sorry sir you aren't booked"...I had a ticket (Business class too....nooch!) but that doesnt always mean you have a seat in africa....this happens all the time, being used to this and knowing it would get me nowhere arguing i left to go to a hotel..."when's the next plane" i said"...."Monday" they said...3 days later.

3 days later i show up, get on the plane (which was late) and get to Johannesburg (ticket also invalid because i was a week late...purchased new ticket at great expense) and FINALLY almost 1 week after i was supposed to leave i arrived in Harare and sat on a houseboat in gorgeous Lake Kariba....even had a beer or two and saw a hippo in the carpark.

Good thing too...i would have murdered someone if it wasnt that good. Ooh, i also caught a fish that was smaller than my bait...yay!.

Apologies for length
(Tue 7th Mar 2006, 22:02, More)

» Rock and Roll Stories

Dead Kennedy's Busking
Me and a couple of pals went busking in a Mall in town...on a sunday at about 3pm...about 5 people around. I knew all the words to the Dead Kennedy's Stealing Peoples mail and the guys knew mostly all the chords to Rocky Raccoon by the beatles...Nice!. Anyway, i shouted my way through Stealing peoples mail and a drunk gave us $1.38...we didnt even get to smash a tv.
(Sat 1st Jul 2006, 0:54, More)

» Worst Nicknames Ever

Worst Nickname...well for the ex-boyfriend it was
When i was in big school many moons ago, we had a guy - lets call him Andrew Wheeler....anyway, he nicked another guys girlfriend right out from under him (ie she left the other guy)...Anyhoo...from that day on he became known as "Andrew Wheeler Dealer Wicked Woman Stealer"...
(Fri 19th May 2006, 23:00, More)

» Crap meals out

Me and my mates went for the obligatory kebab (technically a meal and it was out). There was this place i used to live near which had a great name - "Kebabistan" in Mount Lawley, i actually thought it was a real place next to Craplakistan but i digress.

We ate great kebabs, like a food angel crying on your tongue as one does after about 8 pints of beer, i then proceeded to the loo where i stayed for the rest of the night, as did my pals.

One kinda weird thing though, the owner was MURDERED outside the place by her own family a week later i believe!..

They're still in business, seems you can get away with blue-murder in the kebab business!.

Apologies for length but i like my kebabs with mucho girth
(Mon 1st May 2006, 21:58, More)
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