» Weddings

Ahh. B3ta.
Another week, another excuse to post some thinly veiled, pathetically ineffectual self-eulogy containing the same 3 anecdotes or phrases I've used ever since I joined the board. While I try to make myself seem big, bold and clever, see if you can't pick up the ever-so-slight telltale signs I'm a) barely literate; b) not quite in possession of the full gamut of human emotions c) as interesting as gravel; or d) all of the above.

Once I went to a wedding and it was so bad – like your stories, but so much worse, because this story is about me. So when I say I got drunk and it sounds like everyone else’s drunken stories, you don’t understand. I was far more drunk than anyone else could ever have been. Anyway we did some hilarious stuff that I can’t remember too well, I’m too ineloquent to express clearly or humorously, and which now, having been forced to think about it for the first time in any way approaching objectivity, I realise was only ever funny to me and the poor cnuts that had the misfortune of spending enough time around me to understand my personality.

Innuendo about length. The irony is that’s probably the cause of all my problems.
(Mon 18th Jul 2005, 17:08, More)

» Essential Items

A constant insipid feeling of self-loathing
The almost certain knowledge I masterbate more than is good for me.
The fear that this may be all there is.
Needling doubt in my abilities to function as an adult.
I would add my Leatherman, but since half of B3ta seems to carry one, I guess it doesn't count as odd.
(Wed 2nd Nov 2005, 11:14, More)