b3ta.com user 13thfloor
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» Call Centres

B3TA got me fired!
Some years ago, I worked for a cable company who shall remain nameless (Telewest). My manager was an excellent bloke with a cracking sense of humour, so we used to shoot the shit all day bantering through the email system. One day, I was marched into the dept. head's office, where she, quivering with rage, confronted me with a stack of email printouts covering the last 6 months shenanigans (thank fuck that's all it was). The straw that broke the camel's back, was a newsletter link to a disabled glamour models site - I was marched from the building, Never To Be Spoken Of Again, for emailing spackerporn to my boss. Thanks, B3TA!

(Honourable mention should also go to the phrase 'Cunty McFuckbucket and His Bastard Bagpipers', which she said was 'the most offensive thing' she'd ever heard. I didn't have the balls to tell her that I'd received a prize from company funds for 'Most Creative Swearing Of The Day'.)
(Fri 4th Sep 2009, 17:17, More)

» My computer gave away my secrets

ALWAYS delete your inbox...
Me & my immediate boss email each other back & forth all day, thinking of new & improved obscenities. Our head of dept pulled us both in the other day & laid out every last email we've sent for the last month. Including one which said: cunty mcfuck and his bastard bagpipers, Which actually won me a prize for best swear of the week. However, I also forwarded him the Spakkerporn link from last weeks newsletter, which is probably gonna get us both fired. Which is, I believe, ALL YOUR FAULT! You fuckers! I hope you're all gonna chip in to feed our kids...
(Sun 12th Feb 2006, 1:28, More)

» DIY Techno-hacks

Low-Tech
I tied all the remotes to the table-leg with string, does that count? It's fucking brilliant, you should all do it.
(Fri 21st Aug 2009, 17:05, More)

» PE Lessons

Proving Stereotypes ARE real.
A couple of years after I left school, I found out my PE teacher was done for cottaging in the public bogs. That is all.
(Fri 20th Nov 2009, 23:56, More)

» Turning into your parents

Troosers
Two words: Elasticated. Waistband. 'Nuff said.
(Fri 1st May 2009, 20:00, More)
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