Profile for Bern:
I am here somewhere but i don't know where. If you find me tell me where I am. Just another numerical discrepancy in a sea of anomalies.
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- a member for 19 years, 2 months and 6 days
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- has posted 0 messages on the talk board
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- has posted 3 stories and 0 replies on question of the week
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I am here somewhere but i don't know where. If you find me tell me where I am. Just another numerical discrepancy in a sea of anomalies.
Recent front page messages:
none
Best answers to questions:
» Join us... come join the cult
Cult o' Noodles
Anyways, this friend/co-worker friend who is a paranoid pot smoking truck driver. Started a cult in the third grade. Back then it was in the mid 1960's and as a child he was inundated with movies and t.v shows showing nazis. So he made up little brown paper sleeve rings and hats out of construction paper and called it the fourth reich. Some reason it caught on and he became the leader, but wouldn't let any of the bullies join. Pretty soon at recess all the little fourth reichers would not be playing kickball. Instead they would march and drill and try to capture the ex-bullies to execute them or perform expirements on them. Anyways, the F.B.I. got involved, came to his school and interviewed this future threat to the safety of American'ts and the teachers disbanded the little soldiers. The F.B.I sternly warned this young third grader that he now had a file and they would be watching him. Shit, even into the dude's 50's he was still paranoid as hell.
(Fri 27th Jan 2006, 7:04, More)
Cult o' Noodles
Anyways, this friend/co-worker friend who is a paranoid pot smoking truck driver. Started a cult in the third grade. Back then it was in the mid 1960's and as a child he was inundated with movies and t.v shows showing nazis. So he made up little brown paper sleeve rings and hats out of construction paper and called it the fourth reich. Some reason it caught on and he became the leader, but wouldn't let any of the bullies join. Pretty soon at recess all the little fourth reichers would not be playing kickball. Instead they would march and drill and try to capture the ex-bullies to execute them or perform expirements on them. Anyways, the F.B.I. got involved, came to his school and interviewed this future threat to the safety of American'ts and the teachers disbanded the little soldiers. The F.B.I sternly warned this young third grader that he now had a file and they would be watching him. Shit, even into the dude's 50's he was still paranoid as hell.
(Fri 27th Jan 2006, 7:04, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Can't help myself
What is the most common pickup line at a gay bar?
"Can I push in your stool for you?"
SO this quadrapalegic female was sitting on the pier crying. I asked her what was wrong. She said she had never been kissed or felt up because of her condition. I happily obliged her. Then she said she had never sucked a dick before, again, I let her have her wish. After I came, she said, "Well, I have never been fucked before either!" So I picked her up out of her wheelchair, lifted her high above my head, and threw her ass into the ocean. I then yelled, "You're fucked now."
(Tue 31st Jan 2006, 2:37, More)
Can't help myself
What is the most common pickup line at a gay bar?
"Can I push in your stool for you?"
SO this quadrapalegic female was sitting on the pier crying. I asked her what was wrong. She said she had never been kissed or felt up because of her condition. I happily obliged her. Then she said she had never sucked a dick before, again, I let her have her wish. After I came, she said, "Well, I have never been fucked before either!" So I picked her up out of her wheelchair, lifted her high above my head, and threw her ass into the ocean. I then yelled, "You're fucked now."
(Tue 31st Jan 2006, 2:37, More)
» World's Sickest Joke
Securing my place in hell
What does an 80 year old woman's pussy taste like?
Depends
What is the loudest sound an eighty year old makes when you fuck her?
The sound of her hips breaking.
Why do tampons have strings?
So you can floss after you are done eating.
What is the best thing about fucking a dead hooker?
You don't have to pay her.
Guy in a doctor's office. Doctor walks in and says, "I am sorry,but you have full blown AIDS and will die in two months." The guy asks the doctor, "Isn't there anything I can do?" Doctor replies, "Sure, go down to Mexico and drink lots of tap water and eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables." The guy asks, "Will that cure me?" Doctor says, "No, but it will teach you what your asshole is for."
(Tue 31st Jan 2006, 2:27, More)
Securing my place in hell
What does an 80 year old woman's pussy taste like?
Depends
What is the loudest sound an eighty year old makes when you fuck her?
The sound of her hips breaking.
Why do tampons have strings?
So you can floss after you are done eating.
What is the best thing about fucking a dead hooker?
You don't have to pay her.
Guy in a doctor's office. Doctor walks in and says, "I am sorry,but you have full blown AIDS and will die in two months." The guy asks the doctor, "Isn't there anything I can do?" Doctor replies, "Sure, go down to Mexico and drink lots of tap water and eat plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables." The guy asks, "Will that cure me?" Doctor says, "No, but it will teach you what your asshole is for."
(Tue 31st Jan 2006, 2:27, More)