b3ta.com user a_monkey_spanker
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» Claims to Fame

West end boy in a wankhole club in hastings
In the late 1990's I was casually supping my snakebite and black in a dive of a club in Hastings called the Crypt (which was the only 'clubbing' option for those without buckled shoes, a ben sherman shirt and a penchant for knifing people in arcades) when I saw Pet Shop Boys frontman Neil Tenant. This was a big deal in Hastings and a crowd soon formed around the aging homosexual pop icon. I promptly waded my way through the crowd to bask in his celebrity when a cunning but odd idea formed in my head. As he turned around to sign an autograph I slapped his baldpatch and ran off into the night.

For some reason I felt elated.
(Thu 24th Feb 2005, 13:01, More)

» Guilty Pleasures

setting fire to cats
then moonwalking on their charcoaled remains
(Fri 8th Apr 2005, 15:37, More)

» Beautiful Moments

Sodomising my first toddler
Happy days
(Fri 11th Mar 2005, 10:55, More)

» Birthdays

YAY - it's my birthday party this weekend
I shall mostly be taking lots of drugs and walking the fine line between being a well-intentioned letch and a full-blown rapist.

"A beer for me. A rohypnol on the rocks for the lady"
(Fri 9th Dec 2005, 11:58, More)

» Useless Information

I find that
more often than not chickens die when you fuck them
(Fri 18th Mar 2005, 12:54, More)
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