» Barred

Doing well to not get barred
Customers of the Windsor Buffet Bar in Edinburgh have been barred for the following deranged reasons over the past twelve months:
1. Farting (and having the nerve to claim it was a burp. Landlord wasn't having any of it).
2. Ordering a coffee
3. Being Spanish
4. Moving a chair
5. Laughing too loud
6. Making a mobile phone call
7. Receiving a mobile phone call
8. Not drinking enough (but never for drinking too much)
9. Not going to the pub enough (tricky one here).
(Fri 1st Sep 2006, 13:05, More)

» Inappropriate crushes

Bodyless murderess
Miss Scarlet from Cluedo. She may have had no physical form below the neck, and there's a fair chance she killed someone but she pressed my buttons at an early age. Thereafter Felicity Kendall, who is fully equipped with a torso and so forth and wouldn't hurt a fly, Fickleness of youth I suppose.
(Fri 29th Sep 2006, 16:57, More)

» Beautiful Moments

Whole Lotta Darts
Using the urinal in a pub in Worcestershire and realising that I was stood between Robert Plant and Jockie Wilson. Never happen again I expect.
(Tue 15th Mar 2005, 12:51, More)