b3ta.com user Peregr1n
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I really don't have anything interesting to say here. Instead, here's the stuff that I wish had got to the front page but didn't.

(this was good but warren's anus seems to have died... so to speak)









Oh and by the way I'VE GOT A KITTIN!!!!!11!!%*&$(@*&

She's called Shiva the Destroyer and she's quickly learnt where the competition for attention is.


Recent front page messages:

Is it kosher to post a video as a compo entry?
I made ScurryBot out of a USB plug, a mobile phone vibrate motor and a cell battery. He's pointless. Click for video.

(Wed 19th Jan 2011, 22:21, More)

...

(Sun 19th Apr 2009, 19:00, More)

Yay for the destruction of little people!

Ooh FP! My life is complete.
(Wed 25th May 2005, 16:15, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Conned

I was convinced to donate money 'to help run' a popular website.
All I got in return? A small rabbit icon that appears beside my name. None of the free bumsex that the owner promised. Ginger tosser.
(Thu 18th Oct 2007, 20:45, More)

» Cheating cheaty cheats

When I was little I would cheat at eye tests.
I would memorise the tiny bottom line before I sat in the chair and then pretend I could read it.

It never occured to me that it was anything other than a competitive challenge.
(Fri 18th Nov 2005, 14:27, More)

» The nicest thing someone's ever done for me

This summer I travelled to the north of Norway on my motorbike
and broke down just inside the Arctic Circle. The only bike workshop I could find within 200 miles was f**king useless and didn't seem to want to have the time of day for me. I don't know if it was because I was forrin, or what.

But a customer at the shop happened to be a member of the Bodo Motorcycling Club, and took me to their clubhouse, let me use their workshop, and gave up his afternoon to help me.

Bikers rock.

They even trusted me to spend the night in their clubhouse. An incredibly nice bunch.

In return, I helped a Swedish biker in distress on the way back. He was a proper hairy club biker with a knackered old Harley, who didn't speak a word of English. Through mime we established that he was out of petrol, so I syphoned half my tank to his. He was incredibly grateful, especially as I refused payment; the way I see it, if all bikers help each other, we're all square.

Now, if only everyone would stick to those principles without a common catalyst, like owning a motorbike, or being from the same country, or knowing the same secret handshake... the world would be a much nicer, fluffier place.
(Thu 2nd Oct 2008, 20:46, More)

» Desperate Times

I used to sing professionally
I got quite successful, nice little earner, but it went to my head a bit and I started acting like a bit of an arse.

Ten years on and I've got a bit desperate for cash; I can't get any bookings any more. Probably because everyone's found out I can't sing for shit - I put a new album together and when I realised nobody would pay good money for it, I gave away thousands of copies for free.

So instead, I've resorted to browsing the web 16 hours a day in my dressing gown, obsessively searching for copyright infringements of my material - songs, videos, lyrics, hell, photos, hell, even cartoons will do. I've hired some cheap-ass lawyers who fire off DMCA notices to them. I'm pretty sure it'll fund my retirement - even if I have to close down every fan site!
(Thu 15th Nov 2007, 20:07, More)

» Scary Neighbours

Tank
My neighbour is a right wing, gun-toting nationalist. As well as a veritable armoury of weapons, he owns a tank. I shit you not. It's called Matilda. This is in the middle of rural Hampshire. How bloody scary is that?!

Our other neighbour - well, technically a neighbour, as he owns the next house along, which is about a mile away - is the drummer from Status Quo. I shit you not again.

Beat that!
(Thu 25th Aug 2005, 17:59, More)
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