» World's Sickest Joke

simple maths
How do you circumsise a redneck?

kick his sister in the jaw
(Sun 15th Jan 2006, 17:30, More)

» Teenage Parties

pooeoke
A best friends 16th,she decided to have kareoke and punch and lots of loud music.I'll try and keep it short.Everyone was drunk,the kareoke masters decided it would be hilarious to use the helium balloons to do kareoke all night.A friends had gotten dumped that day and drank a whole bottle of vodka at the party and locked herself in the bathroom.All the people who had been ingesting large quantities of helium needed to have a poo quite badly/be sick.There is only one bathroom in her house.
After some garden poos had been done and a lot of immodium had been purchased from the corner shop (rendered redundant though as everyone,including myself were too drunk to read whether you can take it with alcohol)I decided to try and get the poor twat out of the bathroom.She let me in and I moved her to be sick in the bath...it was vile.then I unlocked the door so everyone could come in for ablutions whilst that poor girl vommed her guts out.
The Rozzers arrived shortly to a party full of drunk,shit covered 16 year olds,told us to "keep the noise down" and left.
(Fri 14th Apr 2006, 12:12, More)

» Have you ever been dumped in a spectacular way?

back when i was stupid...
going out with a bloke (lets call him fuckface),got a call one night when he was at someone elses party-the call was from a biker friend,twatted off his face and giggling

"tee heee fuckface is eating the face off Maria"

maria is a disgustingly ugly,obese and worst of all -a frighteningly boring wannabe goth.

needless to say-i was slightly mortified.next morning i strolled into his workplace,punched him in the neck and screamed at him for a while in the form of "if you ever talk to me again i will rape and murder everyone you know and love"

he went out with said fat goth for a while,before cheating on her and making her attempt suicide
hahahaha
sorry for length
(Fri 18th Jun 2004, 15:50, More)

» Accidentally Erotic

Bruce...oh Bruce
That bit in Evil Dead 2 when Ash cuts his arm off with the chainsaw while he's laughing...only found this out recently whilst
watching it in the living room with my housemates ,it got so bad I had to go have a sly one afterwards under the guise of "left something in my room".(me=girl btw)


Oh and the shame of it-
Harry Batts from "Dick and Dom in da bungalow"
You'll know if you've seen it.
naebody move!
no one should feel like that watching kids tv on a saturday morning.
(Fri 10th Feb 2006, 0:24, More)

» Your Greatest Dilemmas

universities
bristol (UWE)
or bournemouth

i will be doing illustration and i have to decide in a week and a half
both of them have the same number of pros and cons....eeny meenie miny mo has gotten out of hand :|
(Wed 19th May 2004, 18:03, More)