» Crap meals out

well
I was in vigrinia in some town with the extravigant population smaller than my High school seinor class, We stoped into a place to eat, called "EAT" by the big sign on the window apparently. anyway, I go there and its the mornin tyme so i get a cheese ommolete with orange juice
20 minutes later (how long does it take to make an omlette serriosly?)
waitress arives with the food, now ther was pulp in the orange juice, but this isnt what bothered me, i kinda like it like taht, the thing is, the pulp ws all majically settled onto the bottom, it was all there, it looked like it had formed some giant mass of pulp and was working twords reversing the juicing process.
so I drank a little of that before I theorised that If the pulp was inteligent enough to reform itself at the botom of the glass, i had no right to destroy it.
The ommolete however, was the fun part
and I do NOT know how they did this
bottom? burnt, almost to a crisp
middle, not even cooked and cold! what the hell, not to mention there must have been half a shell in there
and I had ordered a cheese ommolete, so what do they do?
they took a slice of krafts cheese and half melted it onto the top, it didnt melt fully because THE PAPER WAS STILL ON IT!

I dont know what that chef was on but it had to be something better than the entree
(Thu 27th Apr 2006, 22:37, More)

» I witnessed a crime

Why I love my town's cops
This is one of my favorite stories actually
and why I have the utmost respect of those upstanding gentlemen known as the Stratford, Connecticut police force
So me and my friend, mildly buzzed, at, ohh, guessing about 4 or 5 PM, being the lazy good for nothings that we are, went off to see a movie, Casino Royal I think it was, anyway, we see the movie, its all well and good, my friend the kid who plays poker for a living is yelling about the film and I'm feigning interest, while we get to a major intersection in our town, cross the street, continue walking, when all of a sudden, Black SUV license plate _ _ _ - UFO (can't believe I remember that much) comes up to the stoplight, we then see the door being kicked open and a woman screaming for help, her legs kicking out of the door, in fact, she dropped a sneaker in the middle of the street, two male voices saying something along the lines of "shut your mouth you wench, close the door good chap" although my memory is a bit hazy, slamming the door shut with the muffled screams of the woman still being heard, and then running the red light and making a left.
My friend and I just stare at each other and begin repeating the license plate over to ourselves, so we wouldn't forget, while he started dialing the cops, however, I saw the reason that she did this further down the road, there were three cop cars positioned at the other corner, so, thinking they might be a much faster help, we ran over. Now heres where it gets a bit surreal, we walk over to the first cop, big balding man who looks like hes pregnant with a full keg of beer, who, upon hearing that we've just witnessed a kidnapping, interrupts and says in a very calm and matter-of-fact way, "well...I'm going to the bar...but you can ask that guy"
So, we go to the second cop, who is sitting in his car, who promptly rolls up his window and speeds off with us looking bewildered.
The third cop, a young guy, heard us out at least, took no notes, and then told us he'd "look into it"
still no idea what happened, never heard anything else about it, all I know is that that shoe was on the side of the road for quite a few weeks afterwards. and the cops in my town are useless save for breaking up parties.
"I'm going to the bar"
that line will stay with me for a long time...
(Tue 19th Feb 2008, 6:20, More)

» When Animals Attack

Wild Turkeys
are indeed wild
and apparently, with the provocation of walking up to them
will position themselves completely flat, neck fully stretched out, and run towards you like fucking torpedoes
fucking wild turkey torpedoes
the horror
(Thu 24th Apr 2008, 23:59, More)

» The Boss

Well not that bad really
Honestly the boss I really hated, as he made me hate myself, I have no really good stories about, just a lot of time spent being yelled at.

However there was this one woman in a previous job, very nice although she never really had that much actual work to give me, who was one of the most hideous people I'd ever met. She had orange fake tan skin, fingernails that were waaaay too long for a human being, and most of all, a nose that was split in the middle ever so slightly exactly like a double chin. However, this was no slight split, this was creepy, the split was deep enough to cause a shadow giving the impression of a third nostril in certain light. I never could stop staring at that arse of a nose, and wondering in horrible curiosity if her sneezes sounded like farts. I still will occasionally feel the little cleft in my own nose and shiver in horror at the memory of ass-schnoz.
(Thu 25th Jun 2009, 7:28, More)

» Stalked

three times
all minute situations

its rather strange being bisexual, you know the feeling you get when you're with a girl and all of a sudden, every other girl seems to pop out of the woodwork, well I currently have a boyfriend and every girl in my college seems to suddenly start hitting on me...ok not every one...ok maybe 2, but thats not the point, same thing happens with guys when I'm with a girl, perhaps its just me.

anyway, there have been three incidents of a stalking variety recently, but nothing nearly as bad as the others I've read here

so to get this one off my chest, I'll start with my own slight stalking experience first,
My first grade crush, found her on facebook, and proceeded to 1. message her almost every day
2. try and convince my friend who goes to the same college to hook me up with her
I stopped as soon as I realized what I was doing, apologized, and promptly forgot about her.

the other two are being stalked by ex girlfriends, who won't leave me alone and try to get my friends to hook them up with me
Karma eh?
the sad part is, they might be rather nice, and if the situation was different, I would probably say yes, but I don't see my relationship now ending soon, and I don't particularly want it to, meh, perhaps a threesome

length? thats what they're after I assume
(Tue 5th Feb 2008, 0:41, More)