» Well, that taught 'em

Yeah cars n'all that jazz
I'll try and keep this breif.
Driving along dual carriage way, pull out to overtake slow moving traffic in left lane. Car up my arse all of a sudden. I stick to the 70mph speed limit with this little prick trying to bully me over into the slow lane. I remain, undetered. I pass the last car I figure a reasonable manouvre before my slip road steadily approaches on the left. I have pulled into a gap following an artic' lorry and being followed by the last car I overtook. The prick driving like a twunt that was just touching my bumper with his decides it's do-able to continue past me, and overtake the artic' in front of me before swinging into the same slip road I'm now indicating for. The laws of physics decided that it's not as do-able as shitforbrains thinks. He must have hit about 90mph before he decides to try to swerve in front of this lorry, causing the rear of his car to fall into a spin sliding accross the slip road(directly in my oncoming road - I could practically wave at him and his passingers while he did this) and back into the centre of the dual carriageway inevitably taking a SMACK from the artic' lorry.
It was actually quite a horrific crash, and definately not something you would say " I bet that taught him! " to due to it's nastiness. - the car was mangled caused by bouncing off various objects.
But as he sat there in the centre of the dual carriage way facing the wrong way, and all oncoming traffic ground to a halt staring him in the face, I did however think "I bet you feel like a right cunt, don't you?"
(Wed 2nd May 2007, 16:01, More)

» School fights

I don't know where to start
My school was sooo damn rough, it would be impossible to include even 3% of the fights I have had the pleasure to whitness. Fortunatly for me, I was able to include myself amongst the rugby/football dicks (whose morals were in the right place - but braun was by far more powerful than their brains) I therefore managed to avoid any fights directed at myself, due to my "friend of the people" attitude.
Anyway, by far the best fight I ever saw wasn't long after starting High School, on my way home we over heard a group of kids shouting (egging on - as the teachers liked to refer to it - this was apparently as bad as being involved in the fight according to them... I to this day, disagree.) Anyway, 2 girls on a playing field - a lot older than me at the time, and therefore well endowed in the chest region. It was great!, I'm sure you can imagine. Clothing flying high, these pair were literally left with nothing but their skirts on (and rolling around on the floor, they might as well have not been wearing skirts) a cut lip and a bloody nose later, they scrambled to gather their clothes up realising that the people "egging" on were no longer there for the fight, more for the pornographic imagery a child under the age of 18 found near impossible to get hold of.

Oh happy days...
(Fri 10th Mar 2006, 14:16, More)

» Best Graffiti Ever

Public loo door in some public house
Stated:

My daughter..... Loves the cock
(Tue 8th May 2007, 14:22, More)

» Spoooky Coincidence

I have a dream..
Last night I dreamt that my house had been burgled, and everything that was stolen was replaced with exact replicas.....

Low and behold, when I woke up
(Fri 9th Feb 2007, 14:24, More)

» Sacked

I got sacked once....
It's a long story with lots of ins and outs... and it was basically an unfair dismissal, of which I couldn't really do anything about, corporate twat's that they were/are. Took em to court of appeal anyway, or at least until they got scared and offered me some moneys to settle out of court. Long story short, I was gutted when they actually did the deed...

For about 20 minutes! I called my missus to inform her I'd lost my job, she informed me she'd just inherited 50 grand!! WOO JACKPOT!

Stayed un-employed for 12 months after... dossed about bowling, smoking and a lot more recreation.

This post could have been full of girth, but thought the after effects of the sacking were more interesting than the actual reasons and procedings of the sacking. Which really is quite a boring story - not unlike this QOTW
(Wed 1st Mar 2006, 13:31, More)