» Airport Stories

may contain traces of alcohol
A mate of mine lived in Saudi Arabia, anyways he way flying back there to see his parents, and took with him some bags of liqorice allsorts as they were his dads favourite. It gets to Saudi Customs time, the guard sees the word Liquor in the Liquorice Allsorts, and he gets take away for attempting to smuggle illegal alcohol into a muslim country. took him hours to convince them that they really were just sweets.

length? girth?.... brewers droop more like
(Sat 4th Mar 2006, 13:12, More)

» Public Sex

Freshers Week
I was working for the Uni newspaper (big up to Team i!!) reporting on freshers week. (photographer hence the shit grammer/spelling/writing)

One night in the middle of 2000 people watching cheesy rubbish, there was a couple having a bit of finger loving with each other, cue 40 or 50 people forming a circle around them pointing laughing and cheering. Not that said pair noticed this at all. Then the uni tv station started filming the romantic moment, getting in all close for the money shots. Suddenly the the male part of the horny duo notices, says "Fuck off and stop watching, it's private", and then proceeds to turn 90 degrees and continue, as if no one could then see them at it , as he had his back to them, continues on for 3 minutes until the girl gets jelly legs, falls on the floor and he walks off.
(Tue 28th Apr 2009, 21:54, More)

» Guilty Pleasures, part 2

Hmm
In a word " Casscada "


{ potentially combined with the activity "Lasso Dance" }
(Fri 14th Mar 2008, 14:48, More)

» Housemates

Opps
It was the first year of uni, and one of my housemates had the going home for the weekend and leaving his room unlocked. One sunday afternoon in a fit of boardom the rest of us decided to upside down his room, literally everything was turned upside down, even to the point of balancing an upside down desk on top of his upside down computer and turning the inserts of his cd's upside down so that the cd's all looked like the open the wrong way. I'll never forget the look on his parents face as they walked into his room.

Same year different housemate, different story - the hall was a towerblock, we were on the 7th floor and faced the library and main parade. One summers night we noticed that another housemate had left his windows open, so by reaching round from the room nextdoors window, and using a 3 iron, we hooked his curtains and unclipped them, Next day the guy wakes up to see people in the library staring at him as he got changed.
(Fri 27th Feb 2009, 7:51, More)

» Airport Stories

And I though yanks were bad
last year the misses went to uni in america for a year, so i decide to suprise her by flying out for her birthday. Anyway 1 week before i had the foresight to put my passport in the washing machine, it was still readable - sort of.

So i roll up to heathrow at 6am, the check in desk bint says,
"i can't let you go- the americans won't let you in with that"
(cue look of disgust) so i said, "well i am getting on that plane" (especially as it had cost me £500 of my hard earned student loan) she says "alright but you'll have to sign an indemnity, if the americans won't let you in you'll have to pay us £2k to fly you back again" well i go for it,

spent the entire flight sweating like a peado in school at the thought of being kicked out of the USA, anyways i get ther go to passport control in philiadelphia, and the immigration guy laughs at me and says " next time don't go swimming with your passport" lets me staright on in. cashback

On the return flight the uk equivelent won't let me back into my own country as she thinks it's a fakes passport so i said" fuck off are you sending me back and forth across the atlantic because you have PMT," (cue being taken to a back room to see her supervisor) took 15 minutes of persauding to convince them to get my mum to bring my birth certifcate so that they would let me back into my own country!!! fuckers
(Sat 4th Mar 2006, 12:47, More)