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Porn
Whilst i was still young, i had a paper round in the mornings before school.

Now the bloke who owned and ran the paper shop used to open up in the morning and get the papers ready to be delivered, putting them in the right order and blah blah.

Anyway, while he was doing that, all the paper lads (no paper girls in the scummy northern village)were allowed to sit around and read the other magazines that were on the shelves of the newsagents.

Now being the brain child he was, he had the porn on the top shelf (obviousley), just above the footie magazines.

The easiest thing in the world was hovering round the footie mags for a sec, then grabbing an art pamphlet on the sly.

News got out of our easy access to porn, and it didnt take long before we started taking orders from school.

Well, your average jazz mag back then was what, 2, 3 quid maybe? Well we could sell porn marked up to about a fiver a pop.

Small fry you might be saying. But we could easily flog 2 a day, as well as the orders on any other mag they stocked, which would add up to maybe £10-£15 PER DAY.

Now we worked 7 days a week, and earned (legitimate wages i mean) a whole £8 per week so you can see how flushed we thought we were.

The whole lot was spent on fags, booze and resin. Every penny.

Well we couldnt save it, as the parents wouldve noticed i recks. And we couldnt spend it in a proper shop (as proper shops dont sell booze fags and drugs to 13 year olds).

The whole racket ended when one paper lad, new kid, bit of a wanker, (ended up on smack btw), went and stole the sunday football supplement that came with the daily mirror or whatever.

Absolute twat. 10p's worth of newspaper pullout ruined the entire scam as from then on we werent able to even breath near anything other then the papers we were due to deliver.

Hey ho. All was not lost. I soon got a different round for a different newsagents at the other end of the village, where the alcholic owner guy didnt notice us walking out with pockets crammed full of chocolates and fags.

Didnt make any profit at the end of it all, but it brightened our days no end.

I turned out alright in the long run. STill drink and smoke loads of weed though.

The rest of the lads all turned out to be pricks probably. I wouldnt know, i moved out of the village as soon as i could.

Yay, posting cherry popped.

No appologies for length though, as i cant think of any knob gags at the mo.
(Tue 5th Aug 2008, 20:02, More)