» When I met the parents

no need
the first time i went to my (now ex-) boyfriend's parents' house was particularly mortifying. we were getting ready for bed when his mum popped her head round the door to inform us that she didn't want to hear "any squidgy noises" coming from our room. i was particularly disturbed to think that she'd clearly considered me to be overly moist in the minge area. hmmmm.
(Thu 19th May 2005, 20:30, More)

» Jobsworths

little chef
my uncle was driving my 90 year old, wizened and enfeebled gran up to our house for christmas (thanks uncle charlie) when they stopped for microwaved delights at a little chef. my gran, being a fan of booze but not food, asked for a light snack and asked my uncle to get the main meal with which they graciously allow you a glass of wine. the spotty oik serving them caught on to this ruse and refused to let my uncle have the wine as it was clear he would give it to my gran, and not being protected against the effects of alcohol she would then be over the limit. they did this despite the fact that she was clearly not the designated driver (suffering as she does from cataracts and dementia) and thus denying an old lady her only pleasure in life.

she made up for it when she got to our house though, and spent christmas eve to boxing day wasted.
(Tue 17th May 2005, 16:02, More)