b3ta.com user Ginger Hobbit
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Profile for Ginger Hobbit:
Profile Info:

Name: Marge
Location: UK
Likes: sailing, reading, Molly (her cat), tennis, sleeping ... a lot!
Hates: celery, bimbos, working

Philosophy: Dare to be different. It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees.

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Failed

Temper, temper!
My Mum always cries if my sister and I do well in exams. Here's why:

Having been told not to lose her temper in her A Level exams, Mum proceeds to read through her English Literature paper. Unseen poetry module. The poem is one of those that makes no sense whichever way up you read it, whether you're pissed or sober, whether you're an academic or a member of the great un-washed. Mum's rather epic answer to the instruction "Discuss" was:

"I've read this poem over and over for over an hour and still don't understand it. Therefore I think it is shit."

Naturally, that came out as a huge resounding 'fail'.

Love as ever,
(Fri 5th Jan 2007, 12:12, More)

» Your Weirdest Teacher

Mad English Teacher
One of those ones who teaches you everything ... except what's on the curriculum. Needless to say we loved him! He'd sit in long billowing robes, covered in chalk. When he lit a fire during the winter months, the robes would start to smoke as he wrote on the blackboard above it.

Once, he threw himself down a flight of concrete steps just to see if it would hurt. He got up, went "Phew! That was an experience!" and walked off, not noticing that his arm was broken.

Another time, he walked from Norfolk to Derbyshire, sleeping in ditches because he wanted to experience life as a tramp.

Oh yes, and when he awoke from a coma after a road accident, his first concern was that he had forgot all of his Anglo-Saxon.

What a guy. Love him!
Ginger Hobbit
(Thu 10th Nov 2005, 8:42, More)

» When animals attack...

Just married ... plus mouse
Mum and Dad had just got married and were trying to catch a mouse in the kitchen. It was early in the morning so my dad was only wearing a dressing gown and Mum was prodding about under the cupboard to get the mouse out. Dad, crouching by with a bowl to put over the mouse, was totally unprepared for this mouse to come flying out straight for his goolies.

Apparently he sprained his back his jumped so high ...
(Fri 3rd Jun 2005, 10:53, More)

» Messing with the Dark Side

Garden Ghosts
Picture the scene. My and my best mate (both then aged 7) set up a tent in my garden. It gets to about half eleven at night when strange noises start coming from outside. Naturally, we sat there in our sleeping bags shitting ourselves. Cue the swooshing noise down the side of the tent and the whole thing shaking like crazy. I ran inside screaming, leaving my (now ex-best mate ... and quite rightly so) to spend the night in the tent all by herself.

You can imagine how cheesed off and humiliated I was the next day, when I found that my parents had been kicking footballs so that they brushed against the side of the tent, before running off and hiding behind a tree. They still piss themselves laughing whenever they think back to that fateful night.

Bastards ...

Ginger Hobbit
(Thu 20th Apr 2006, 21:10, More)

» The Onosecond

Poor Mum ....
I changed my mum's auto-correct options on Microsoft Word from the name of the school she worked at to 'The Weird School.' (It was a weird school though - all the rejects from the good school next door went there.) So anywho, Mum emails this document to the headmistress of 'The Weird School' and got bollocked the next day.

Naturally, she wasn't the only one who got yelled at that day ...
(Thu 26th May 2005, 14:03, More)
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