b3ta.com user bazzing
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» When animals attack...

Guard dogs are crap...
I was 14 years old, it was mid-winter, I was delivering on my paper route. Come across house that was know to have the biggest damn german shepard guard (read attack) dog ever. Happens this day the dog was left out unattended. Cue me delivering their paper and coming face to face with said dog, dog growls & charges. Without thinking, I wrapped canvas paper bag around arm, dog jumps, locks onto arm. Hurt like fuck. Being it was winter, I had on these steel toed, rubber boots so I kicked the fucker, hard, in the chest. Loud cracking noise (i'm thinking his ribs), dog yelps, releases and then I kicked the fucker in the head. Maybe over-kill but he was trying to do me in. He never bothered me again.
(Tue 7th Jun 2005, 21:11, More)

» The Onosecond

Bush Bash to wrong Smith
One day, before the president was (unfortunately) re-elected I received via email the most brilliant piece of Bush/Bush administration bashing I had ever read. Being from San Francisco, Bush bashes are constant, so in my excitment and glee I attempted to forward said bashing to my coworker. To my horror, I quickly realized that I had sent the email to the wrong Smith (who had the same first name). This wrong Smith is a higher up in the company and is a religious, Bush supporter from Utah. Ohshitsonofabitchsecond.

Was very nervous for a couple of days but never ended up hearing a thing about it.
(Wed 1st Jun 2005, 19:06, More)