b3ta.com user xianstudio
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» Well, that taught 'em

landlord kept our rent deposit.

Back in College - in Wash DC. - me and 2 friends rented a house in the suburbs for a year. I am a neatfreak and always have been. I even rented a carpet steamer/cleaner for the carpets half way through our rental to keep the place clean. Fast forward to the end of the lease -- The Landlord kept the ENTIRE deposit of $1300.00 (650 pounds) -- said the place was a mess, we didn't rake the fucking leaves in the back of the house and he had to hire a cleaning company to do it... My roommates had all moved away and I was stuck explaing why they didn't get their part of the deposit back. We all still fucking hate him.

Revenge: I got a rubber stamp made with his name and address on it - 10 dollars. I then went to the local mega-book store - to the magazine section - and took out close to 120 business reply postcards - the ones that you fill out to have the magazine sent to you -- and then they bill you for the yearly subscripition. I stayed up late stamping those cards and marking the "bill me" box -- I made sure I picked the magazines that he would not like - like those for children or ones on quilting. I hope that asshole landlord spent HOURS on the phone clearing up the mess...

- cathartic, thank you.
(Fri 27th Apr 2007, 18:47, More)

» Family codes and rituals

Xmas foot prints
After putting extra presents under the christmas tree that have been hidden from the children and late on Christmas eve, my father gets out his old army boots, steps in copious baby powder then strides from the fireplace to the christmas tree and back again. The children wake up and come down excited for xmas to begin and with eyes as big as saucers and just stare stunned at the footprints Santa Clause has left.
- He's been doing it now for over 30 years and now the grandchildren love it.
(Fri 21st Nov 2008, 17:29, More)

» Get Rich Quick

I could have done 10 years in prison (or so my father told me) ...

Well, ok - now that's its been almost 20 years and the statute of limitations is over --
I made a huge fortune making fake IDs for underage students while at university.

The IDs were from "New Jersey" and my partner and I figured out on a real ID. 1 mm is enlarged to .8 inches on our 3x5 foot ID board.
Being a graphic design major - it was relatively easy to construct.

Our "Clients" would come in, stand in front of the board, with its removable/replaceable addresses/DOB and other info - and we would snap a polaroid. - Then take his airbrush with gold paint. Using a template, gave it a light gold dusting to simulate the holographic logo appearing over the ID. At $50.00 each - it was a bargain and withing a few weeks we had appointments with all the fraternities/sororities on campus. Must have made 100's of them ... Eventually we got paranoid as another ID maker got busted by campus police (a moron, we were off campus) -
so I sent all my material to my sister up in NYC at university there - so she could hold it while the pressure went down a little ---
Of course, being the nice little sister -- she went and told our parents.... HUGE family confrontation -- I was pulled from my campus housing and forced to live back at home for a year.
---
But I did make tons of money that of course I blew on booze and women. My record was $1300.00 in one day.
---
Don't try it kids - crime doesn't pay and your parents WILL find out.
(Fri 1st Aug 2008, 16:04, More)

» The Worst Journey in the World

L.A. to Vegas on $95 - then back again shortly thereafter.

8 years ago - me the poor guy in Los Angeles but had $95 to my name - where else to go but VEGAS! - Me and my girlfriend - My jeep wouldn't make the 5 hour trip as it would overhead in the desert so we borrowed her friends crappy ford escort thinking we would win BIG! and pay for a hotel once we won. OFF WE GO! -- halfway there, in the middle of the desert, a tire blows out - no kidding. 3 hours and $30 later we have a "New Used" tire installed at the local kmart... Back on the road. Get to Vegas and go straight to the Rio Hotel/Casino with our remaining $65.. She goes to the bathroom and I proceed to lose it all at the roulette table - keeping $10 for gasoline for the trip back.. We ended up spending the night at some seedy roadside public reststop - sleeping in the car with the doors locked... Woke up early in the morning, turned the key and finished the drive back to my crappy studio apartment in the Hollywood Hills. I survived on Raman noodles, potatoes and water til my next paycheck. We were in Vegas less than a hour.
(Fri 8th Sep 2006, 16:33, More)

» Rock and Roll Stories

SEAL n the early 90's - Record Party in Virginia - USA

My girlfriend at the time worked for CBS Records (now SONY Records) -- anyway - Annual Record release and record label party in a hotel in Northern Virginia. I invited a friend of mine that just returned from school in France. We walk into a large banquet hall, video screens blaring, Crowded House was performing on a small stage and my friend points out a tall, black guy in the corner, all by himself looking confused holding glass of soda water. I have NO idea who SEAL is at the time but my friend informs me that he is big in Europe ...
We walk over, say hello and all SEAL has to say is "Do they put ice in everything over here?" -- Turns out he was a really nice guy, invited us up to his suite with a few other folks - 6 in total - we hung out, had a few drinks and watched his new music video -- I think it was for "Crazy" ... good times - will always remember it...
Never did ask him about those scars though...
(Fri 30th Jun 2006, 17:05, More)
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