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» World's Sickest Joke
another diana story.............
what did diana and the queen mum have in common???
They both died pushing 105
So sorry house of windsor!!!!!!
(Sat 7th Jan 2006, 14:35, More)
another diana story.............
what did diana and the queen mum have in common???
They both died pushing 105
So sorry house of windsor!!!!!!
(Sat 7th Jan 2006, 14:35, More)
» My first love
not quite the first
twas the evening of school leaving prom, many fired up girls looking for their chivalrous companion for the evening, even more adolescent young boys looking for anything- that included me, i was wide eyed and full of anticipation at the grand age of 16- looking for that first time away from the wrist. The evening started well, quietly sipping the vodka that was smuggled in by someone, the first bunch of slow songs arrives, i saunter up to Tracy from my geography class and casually ask her if she would like to come and dance, you can imagine her immediate response to a 5'0 16 year old virgin cant you?? FUCK OFF, came the reply, i vanished for more voddy, never mind i think, the night is yet young, try later, second attempt is with friend of Tracy, Rebecca- altho, looking back, fuck knows why, her eyes were bigger than her tits...... anyway, the same response as the first, FUCK OFF you little smelly cunt, harsh i know, i wasnt a cunt in them days. By this time the voddy has been drunk and the few of us that hadnt pulled were running on pure adrenalin (and desperation) so i turn to Theresa, and then my charm sparkles through, "hi Theresa, I have been watching you all night and have only just got the courage to ask you to dance" i say, all sweetly, trying not to sound TOO desperate "dont wanna dance with you" she says with a wry smile, so, about to call it a day i just wander off, when she comes up to me and says "just cause i dont wanna dance, dont mean i dont wanna have a fuck- are we going outside??" and there we have it, friends, i became a man that night, my wrist has never forgiven me, and she dumped me 2 days later for a 20 year old bloke who knew how to have sex- bothered?? i was a man. 2 weeks later my mates mum taught me an awful lot more than i had seen that first night.........
(Wed 26th Oct 2005, 20:37, More)
not quite the first
twas the evening of school leaving prom, many fired up girls looking for their chivalrous companion for the evening, even more adolescent young boys looking for anything- that included me, i was wide eyed and full of anticipation at the grand age of 16- looking for that first time away from the wrist. The evening started well, quietly sipping the vodka that was smuggled in by someone, the first bunch of slow songs arrives, i saunter up to Tracy from my geography class and casually ask her if she would like to come and dance, you can imagine her immediate response to a 5'0 16 year old virgin cant you?? FUCK OFF, came the reply, i vanished for more voddy, never mind i think, the night is yet young, try later, second attempt is with friend of Tracy, Rebecca- altho, looking back, fuck knows why, her eyes were bigger than her tits...... anyway, the same response as the first, FUCK OFF you little smelly cunt, harsh i know, i wasnt a cunt in them days. By this time the voddy has been drunk and the few of us that hadnt pulled were running on pure adrenalin (and desperation) so i turn to Theresa, and then my charm sparkles through, "hi Theresa, I have been watching you all night and have only just got the courage to ask you to dance" i say, all sweetly, trying not to sound TOO desperate "dont wanna dance with you" she says with a wry smile, so, about to call it a day i just wander off, when she comes up to me and says "just cause i dont wanna dance, dont mean i dont wanna have a fuck- are we going outside??" and there we have it, friends, i became a man that night, my wrist has never forgiven me, and she dumped me 2 days later for a 20 year old bloke who knew how to have sex- bothered?? i was a man. 2 weeks later my mates mum taught me an awful lot more than i had seen that first night.........
(Wed 26th Oct 2005, 20:37, More)