» It's not me, it's the drugs talking

Am I the only one
who did as little as possible under the influence? That aside, here are some (relatively uninteresting compared to you crazy party folk) highlights:

Crispy M&Ms. Jesus, we went to a service station late at night and brought back maybe 15 big packets of them, nothing else. And we ate them all, and they were amazing...

Another time, my mate Joe was caught in slow motion - and I was very very very fast, like it was all a blur, and the whole world was spinning whooo! We went out into the world armed with couch cushions, and we had a pillow fight in the middle of a crowded street. I don't know why we weren't arrested - we walked/excitedly danced past a police box - maybe they thought we were performance artists. Oh, and I won the pillow fight.

And finally, not me, but my Irish mate tells me of his flatmate's amazing revelation: he runs in while they are all tripping, and exclaims, "Oh my God, I've discovered the best combination of food!" Or something along those lines. "Drugs - and yoghurt!" And they all ate it. And it was good. So amazingly good.

Oh and I almost forgot: I set my mate's hair on fire while trying to light his cigarette. He didn't notice... even when I put it out by repeatedly hitting him in the head. He, later that evening, fell down a flight of stairs and didn't notice. He was incredible.

Ooh and my friend Dan took 3 hours to climb a small incline. It was about 3 metres up on a 10-15 degree slope. Best. Night. Ever.
(Thu 15th Dec 2005, 13:20, More)

» Urban Legends

Drop Bears
Apologies if there's been a similar post...

As an Australian living in a different country, and in proximity to Americans, it's my duty to spread the general myths about Australia so that we can continue to have a chuckle at gullible people. One night I was given a perfect opportunity: two Americans, an Irish guy and another aussie at a party, among others. The Americans mention that they're travelling to Aus soon, and the subject of animals came up. I started to ramble about the dangerous animals to be careful of, listing the famous ones and slipped in the Drop Bear. Well, the bait was taken, and I regaled them with some facts about them. I was even able to keep a straight face as I acted with polite scorn as they initially laughed at the idea - I'm usually not so good at keeping straight faces.

The great part came when the other Aussie turned up halfway through the conversation, and when I mentioned the Drop Bear he picked up the tale smoothly. He started to talk about it's only natural enemy too, which is a part of the story I've never heard, so I sat back to listen about the Cassowary, a large flightless bird which is very elusive, but has a hard cone on it's head (to protect against Drop Bears) and can disembowel with a kick of it's clawed feet. I thought this was a great animal to make up as an enemy, and the Americans certainly bought it. I congratulated my Aussie mate after for making up such a weird creature. "But I didn't make it up," he says, "It's a real animal, just doesn't kill Drop Bears is all". I looked it up. It bloody well is real.

Is that reverse gullibility? Don't know if it counts...
(Mon 9th Jan 2006, 12:12, More)

» Toilets

Half-assed, but so am I...
I once fell asleep on the toilet. God's truth. Woke up more than 3 hours later - still sitting there. And no, I wasn't drunk.

Also, there was the time that 8 of us went to Korea. Oooh, I think the term was "shitting fire".

Woo, my first post! And it's about poo. How appropriate...
(Sat 3rd Sep 2005, 0:00, More)